by Mark Rivers
Jew Barry Sonnenfeld, the director of "Big Trouble," got his start in the porno business (surprise, surprise). Now, the toilet-obsessed Jew has a bathroom in his home made up to look like a public men's room, complete with stalls and urinals. When "Big Trouble" is released on video, maybe Sonnenfeld will put a few copies in his throne room and allow his guests to urinate on them.
"Big Trouble" is grossly anti-White. Set in Miami (and conspicuously devoid of Jews and Puerto Ricans), it is the story of a loser White guy (Tim Allen). He lost his job as a newspaper columnist, his wife left him, his teenage son has no respect for him, and his fledgling advertising business is barely treading water. Tim Allen's son (along with his geeky White friend) is involved in an "assassination game" at school with a flighty teen girl. The girl's mother (Rene Russo) is a painted-up floozy, and her stepfather (Stanley Tucci) is a "right-wing" degenerate. He is described as the only person in Florida whose vote for Pat Buchanan in the 2000 election was intentional. Other than being perversely attracted to the family's "Mexican" maid and acting like a jerk throughout the entire movie, though, Tucci never says or does anything remotely right-wingish. He is pursued by a couple of bumbling (White) hitmen, who were hired to kill him for embezzling his company.
Another detestable White character (because the Jews can never have enough of them) is Tim Allen's ad client (Mike McShane), a sweaty and obese chauvinist. He gets his comeuppance when one of the hitmen (Dennis Farina) breaks his fingers, and then again when two "cool" negro FBI agents throw him out of his Humvee and drive away with it. To add insult to injury, they toss his country CD out onto the street, and put in a rap CD as they speed away.
To make sure the movie filled its quota for evil White characters, "Big Trouble" features a couple of low-rent White crooks (Tom Sizemore and Johnny Knoxville), who play the Jews' favorite kind of country-fried trailer trash stereotypes. Besides robbing and kidnapping the other characters, they beat up, rob and abuse a tree-dwelling hippie (Jason Lee). The hippie serves as a narrator, victim and a love interest for the Mexican maid.
The law enforcement representatives in "Big Trouble" are the aforementioned negro FBI agents (the only characters in the film who are not buffoons), a feminist cop (Janeane Garafalo), her dim, musclebound partner (Patrick Warburton) and a drunken, gun-toting security guard (Andy Richter). Richter also plays the security guard's twin brother, who works for the airport security. When Warburton gets uppity with the airport staff, they conduct a strip search, and he is shown running nude through the terminal at the end of the movie, for no apparent reason than to earn the movie a PG-13 rating.
Finally, there are two Russian arms dealers who operate out of a seedy hole-in-the-wall bar. They sell Tucci a bomb so he can take out the people trying to kill him. The trailer trash crooks steal the bomb and hijack a plane (which is why the movie's release was delayed following 9/11). In mid-air over the Atlantic Ocean, Tim Allen fights the crooks and pushes one of them (and the bomb) out of the plane just in time. The bomb blows up, killing the less likeable of the two crooks. Rene Russo falls for Tim Allen, and his son suddenly respects him. The end.
When the negro FBI agents showed up halfway through the movie, I kept expecting them to say or do something that would show them to be just as inept or corrupt as every White member of the cast was. I should have known better. The negroes repeatedly beat up, shot and humiliated the Whites, citing an executive order that granted them special rights to do so. "Big Trouble" is now an official entry in the 2002 "Jour de la Corde" awards.
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