Blade 2: Bloodhunt

by Alex MacDonald

"Blade 2: Bloodhunt" stars Wesley Snipes as "Blade" -- a sort of bluegummed Batman -- who hunts down vampires with an array of futuristic weapons and improbable kung-fu moves. The "Blade" character is heavily inspired by "Batman" -- in fact, one character even refers to him as "The Dark Knight" ("dark" as in "darkie," geddit?).

Like Batman, Blade lives in some sort of high-tech underground lair similar to the Batcave. He has an old white guy as a sidekick/mentor (Kris Kristofferson), just as Batman/Bruce Wayne had his trusty butler, Alfred. Blade is a broody, "strong silent type," just like Batman. They even share a fetish for leather costumes!

However, that's where the similarities between "Batman" and "Blade" end. Batman was -- apart from his suspicious domestic arrangements as a bachelor living with a teenage boy named "Robin" -- ultimately a positive depiction of a strong white male. "Blade 2," on the other hand, is just another attempt by the Jews who run Hollywood to set up a "strong black male" as a "sex symbol," remind us of the evils of white men, and rake in a few shekels from the cinema-going goyim at the same time.

Even so, "Blade 2" is not without a certain level of entertainment value, albeit unintentional. Me and my friends got a lot of laughs out of this movie at the "wrong" moments, because it takes itself so seriously at the same time as being hilariously ridiculous. Anyway, I digress...

The movie starts off with Blade rescuing Kris Kristofferson from some badly caricatured "Russian" vampires. (Oy! Racist, it's!) Our dusky hero then takes his mentor back to the Batcave, and makes him go into "detox" to stop him from being a vampire. We are introduced to Blade's other sidekick, a greasy-looking whigger called "Scud" who chainsmokes, listens to jungle music, and invents gadgets.

More "Matrix"-style kung-fu action ensues when the Batcave is invaded by a couple of vampire ninjas, one of whom is a "sexy" dothead named Nyssa. The vampire ninjas are on a mission from the head vampire to get Blade to help them hunt down and kill a dangerous mutant strain of vampires. Blade goes with them to the vampire HQ, which is a large corporate skyscraper full of faceless security guards dressed in black. How did vampires get so rich when they can't even face sunlight?

Blade meets the head vampire (who looks like an evil version of Yoda from Star Wars) and his lawyer (a white guy with blond hair and an English accent - so you KNOW he's going to turn out evil!).

The head vampire puts Blade in charge of a "crack team" of vampire commandos called the "Blood Pack." I couldn't help but laugh when I saw this collection of untermenschen.

There's a "white" vampire called "Reinhart," played by Jew Ron PERLMAN, whom Blade promptly bitchslaps so that whitey knows his place. He even calls him "Adolf" so that you know he's an evil white guy - even though he's played by a camel-faced kike actor. There's also the aforementioned "sexy" dothead, a pink-haired punk/goth type white female, a sleazy-looking chink who wears eye makeup, a racially ambiguous male with tribal tatoos on his face, a foul-mouthed Irish vampire called "Priest," an "English" negro, and a fat "trailer trash" type white guy.

Anyway, here's what happens in the film: Wesley Snipes shows us what a strong, disciplined, "in charge" sort of negro he is, while he and his vampire buddies fight the mutants. The mutants turn out to have mouths that split open like the xenomorphs in "Aliens," and are led by "Nomak" who is played by Englishman and former pop star, Luke Goss.

Lots of blood and pus explode around the place, especially when the crew shoot up the mutants in a what looks like a vampire gay disco. The action scenes borrow heavily from "The Matrix," but with more gore and less flair.

Several exploded bodies later, Blade and the "Blood Pack" chase the mutants down the sewers, where the "white" vampire called Reinhart double-crosses Blade and tries to get him and Kris Kristofferson killed. Most of the "Blood Pack" get wiped out, but our fat-lipped freedom fighter heroically saves the day (jus' like in da real world, Tyrone!) and kills most of the mutants.

They end up back at vampire HQ, where it turns out that the head vampire had conned both Blade and the "sexy" dothead. In fact, the mutant vampires were a failed attempt by the head vampire to create a "perfect race" (Oy! Nazis! Do you geddit?) of vampires. Blade gets tortured by the blond-haired lawyer (told ya he was evil) while the "white" vampire beats up Kris Kristofferson.

Then "Nomak" shows up to take revenge on the head vampire, and battles with the faceless black-clad security guards, who all have a neat little red and black logo on their arms which I guess is supposed to look something like a swastika.

The whigger who was Blade's sidekick turns out to be a bad guy too, and Blade kills both him and the camel-faced "white" vampire. Kris Kristofferson kills the evil blond lawyer -- all the bad guys are "white," with the possible exception of the head vampire, whose skin tones are more greenish.

Nomak kills the head vampire and bites the "sexy" dothead so that she will become a horrible mutant like him. Blade kills Nomak and the "sexy" dothead asks him to take her ouside so she can see the sunrise, so she dies in his arms as the sun's rays fall on her.

"Blade 2" isn't especially anti-white by Hollywood standards, although it carries the usual Jewish motifs of "nazis," evil white guys, strong and sexy negroes and other Turd World types, and jungle music. However, it doesn't try to pair off the Coon Crusader with a white woman, which is a plus. Overall though, this movie is ridiculous nonsense and of limited entertainment value.

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