Iron Monkey

by Mark Rivers

Jing Jaw Bling Pong directed Iron Monkey. It was produced by Ding Dang Doodle and Wang Chung Hoo-boy. It stars Yin-Yang Ping Pong and Schlong Bong Bung Dung. It was written by Ling Ling Goo Goo Gai Pan.

Hey, I'm only kidding. I don't know what their names are, and I don't care. Ever since I was a kid, I have liked chop-socky movies, though, and this is no exception. It is the first of its type I have reviewed for VNN, however. I don't count Rush Hour 2 or Kiss of the Dragon, because they were American movies that happened to feature martial arts action.

Iron Monkey, however, is a Chinese production from top to bottom. As with all movies of the genre, the plot can go hang as long as there is plenty of well-photographed action. Cashing in on the success of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, this movie features some realistic, semi-realistic and completely unrealistic sequences. Iron Monkey is the name of a Robin-Hood type in 19th century China who defends the townsfolk against the corrupt system. He spends the entire movie fighting bad guys. The end.

As a racially conscious White person, I have mixed feelings in recommending this movie. It's not really in my interests to promote a non-White film, but then, what movie isn't non-White these days? Since there is not so much as a hint of a negro in this movie, you may go see it if you wish, especially if you like lots of punching and kicking, leaping, diving, and expertly choreographed action sequences.

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