by Mark Rivers
Jing Jaw Bling Pong directed Iron Monkey. It was produced by Ding Dang Doodle and
Wang Chung Hoo-boy. It stars Yin-Yang Ping Pong and Schlong Bong Bung Dung. It was written
by Ling Ling Goo Goo Gai Pan.
Hey, I'm only kidding. I don't know what their names are, and I don't care. Ever since I
was a kid, I have liked chop-socky movies, though, and this is no exception. It is the
first of its type I have reviewed for VNN, however. I don't count Rush Hour 2
or Kiss of the Dragon, because they were American movies that happened to feature
martial arts action.
Iron Monkey, however, is a Chinese production from top to bottom. As with all movies
of the genre, the plot can go hang as long as there is plenty of well-photographed action.
Cashing in on the success of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, this movie features some
realistic, semi-realistic and completely unrealistic sequences. Iron Monkey is the
name of a Robin-Hood type in 19th century China who defends the townsfolk against the
corrupt system. He spends the entire movie fighting bad guys. The end.
As a racially conscious White person, I have mixed feelings in recommending this movie.
It's not really in my interests to promote a non-White film, but then, what movie isn't
non-White these days? Since there is not so much as a hint of a negro in this movie, you
may go see it if you wish, especially if you like lots of punching and kicking, leaping,
diving, and expertly choreographed action sequences.
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