Crazy/Beautiful
by Mark Rivers
My eyes have been opened! I never realized just how appealing the Latinos are! Or so we
are told in Touchstone Pictures' Crazy/Beautiful. It takes place in smog-free Los
Angeles, where there are no drive-by shootings, no gangs, no criminals and in fact, no
crime.
Well, there is a little crime. White people commit crimes in Los Angeles, according to
Crazy/Beautiful.
The story is about Nicole, a cute, rich, spoiled, obnoxious, drunk, drug-addicted slut who
falls for a clean-cut, intelligent, well-spoken, well-mannered Mexican named Carlos.
Carlos gets up at 5:15 a.m. every weekday, eats a hearty breakfast, kisses his mom goodbye,
and rides the bus for two hours, just so he can go to Pacific High School (the White kids'
school). He has the high ambition of going to the Naval Academy and becoming a pilot.
Nicole stumbles out of bed whenever she wants, hungover, and gobbles down some cereal
prepared by her family's Mexican maid. Nicole's stepmom is an unbelievably anal White
soccer mom, and her father is a sycophantic White congressman who toadies to the Mexicans
like it's going out of style. Nicole's real mom committed suicide, which kind of messed up
Nicole's head.
Nicole first meets Carlos at the beach; he is hanging out with his clean-cut and fun-loving
Mexican buddies, and she is picking up trash with some other White criminals as part of a
community service sentence for her DUI.
A few days later, Nicole and her slutty, obnoxious White friend Maddy are hanging out in
the schoolyard, ditching class with some White friends. They are all smoking dope and
drinking, when Carlos happens by (he doesn't want any part of the drinking or drugs,
though). The evil White hall monitor shows up and puts them all in detention.
As a result, Carlos is late for football practice, and the tyrannical White coach makes him
put in an extra hour in the weight room. Carlos' White friend tries to get him to leave
early with him, but Carlos is just too honest and upright to do anything like that.
Nicole, who is already about to jump Carlos, attends the football game, where Carlos makes
the game-winning play. They hop into Maddy's jeep, and the three of them, accompanied by
really loud music, cruise down to the Mexican ghetto.
They eat at a taco stand, dance with the locals, and have a great time. Not once do the
Mexican men try to grope or assault the two drunk White girls; not once does a single
person treat the Whites with disrespect. The trio walk down a dark alley, where Maddy
urinates on the pavement as Nicole and Carlos get in touch with their feelings.
Carlos' brothers, cousins and friends all treat Nicole and Maddy with respect and
kindness. Carlos' mother is stand-offish, and the Mexican girls at Pacific High are
jealous, but other than that, the Mexicans just love the idea of one of their own cavorting
with a rich, drunk, obnoxious White slut.
Nicole's father, the boot-licking congressman, is more than happy to recommend Carlos for
the Naval Academy, but he insists that Carlos stop dragging himself down by continuing to
see his psychotic daughter.
Carlos has one White friend and one negro friend on the football team. The negro shows up
for a couple of scenes, shows how clean-cut, intelligent and harmless he is, and
leaves.
The White friend shows up twice more after the football game; once at an outdoor cafe to
harass Carlos and his buddies with racist abuse (he is soundly thrashed by one of the
Mexicans), and once more to take advantage of a drunken Nicole (he is soundly thrashed by
Carlos).
After Carlos saves Nicole from his evil White friend, he is pulled over by two evil,
racial-profiling White cops. They take the girl back home, and it looks like it's all over
for the happy couple.
Finally, Nicole tells Carlos she is being sent to a "boot camp" for bad kids. He throws
his plans for Annapolis in the toilet, and suggests they run away together. They drive to
a motel, and after a little more rutting and soul-searching, Nicole realizes she is going
to have to go back and face the music.
When the prodigal daughter returns, the congressman is so happy he decides to shun his new
wife and bond with his daughter. He also embraces and thanks Carlos for bringing his
daughter back from the abyss.
Again, I had no idea Mexicans were such saintlike people. I had an inkling that Whites
were racists (especially White cops), drug addicts, criminals, drunkards and obnoxious
buffoons with low morals, but I'm stunned by the clean living of the Mexican-Americans.
Why, I'm going to go out right now and protest the INS and the Border Patrol. I say the
more the merrier! Welcome to the United States of Aztlan!
Unfortunately, that is exactly what White teenagers are being taught to believe by this
movie. Just like Save the Last Dance, the target audience of this film (13 to
24-year-old White females) puts reality on hold and runs right out to find one of those
clean-cut Mexicans or negroes.
This is exactly what the Jews want. They want to make non-Whites seem attractive to White
teenage girls. They want to gradually breed all White characteristics out of the formerly
White countries, and repopulate them with mud-colored mongrels.
Don't let them get away with it.
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