Spy Kids II:
Island of Lost Dreams
by The Cat Lady
August 12, 2002
I liked the first "Spy Kids" movie a lot. It was a simple, enjoyable
adventure story, told with humor and style and livened up with imaginative
sets and great gadgets. I liked the premise: Gregorio and Ingrid Cortez are
spies, a job they have to keep secret from their kids. The kids are smart,
though, so they find out. This is good, because the parents get into
trouble, and their kids have to rescue them by using the full range of spy
techniques and technologies. The message of the movie is a healthy one. The
children and the parents are brave, intelligent, and resourceful, but the
real key to their success is when they put aside the things that divide them
and work together as a unified family. The importance of family solidarity
is hardly the usual message promoted by Hollywood.
A friend of mine was bothered because Robert Rodriguez, the director, set
the movie in an advanced Western society that just so-happened to be
Spanish-speaking and "Hispanic." My friend thought this was not only
pandering to America's Mexican invaders, but an attempt to convince the
American public that nothing important would be lost if they were
Mexicanized. He might very well be right about what appealed to the Jews who
control the film industry, but I do not think that it is the message of the
movie or the intent of the director.
I do not use the concept of "Hispanic" because it is a cultural-linguistic
category, not a racial one. It embraces Nordic, Celtic, and Mediterranean
Whites, American Indians, Negroes, and even Asians like Peruvian President
Alberto Fujimori--plus every conceivable form of racial mongrel. But I am
all for White people from Spain and Portugal and Latin America.
A lot of Nordic White Nationalists have strong prejudices against
Mediterranean Whites. Personally, I love Mediterranean cuisines, cultures,
and climates, from Iberia across the South of France to Italy and Greece. I
also find Mediterranean physical types very attractive as well. But I admit
that I am annoyed by the corruption, chaos, and inefficiency that plague
all these countries, especially their former New World colonies.
Nevertheless, galling though it may be to Nordicists, the Whitest countries
in the Western Hemisphere are now Argentina and Uruguay, and those Latin
American countries with multiracial populations are ruled by White elites
that are far more racially conscious than those of more Nordic countries.
So I did not object to the "Hispanic" cast of "Spy Kids" because it was
virtually all White. I admit that one character, Uncle Machete, looked like
a Mestizo. He was cast as a brilliant inventor but looked like he would be
challenged to operate a leaf-blower.
"Spy Kids II" is a terrible movie. It is proof positive that Robert
Rodriguez just lucked out with the first film. He has no idea of how to make
a good movie, so he could not repeat his success. The main problem with "Spy
Kids II" is that its plot literally does not make sense. I am pretty smart,
and I could not figure it out. The kids in the theater were even more
perplexed, and quite a few of them were bored and fidgeting. Like every
movie without a plot, "Spy Kids II" is just one damn thing after another. To
conceal the lack of a good story, director Rodriguez falls back on
spectacular sets and special effects as well as lame gags and gadgets. A lot
of the gadgets seem to have been stuck in the movie merely to sell toys and
Happy Meals. Rodriguez tries to redeem this crass commercialism by pausing
to stick wholesome little messages in the film, but the messages are not
integrated into the overall story, so they come off as just...messages.
Another annoying feature of this film is its self-conscious postmodernist
allusions to other films. Yes, even in a kids' movie! In one scene, the kids
find the golden idol from the opening sequence of "Raiders of the Lost Ark."
Then there is an allusion to "The Lord of the Rings." Then there is a
tribute to the sword-fighting skeletons and battling monsters created by the
great Ray Harryhausen. It's all very amusing. But it is no substitute for a
If you wish to subject yourself and your kids to this plotless, boring,
pathetic excuse for a movie, you can at least take solace in the fact that,
like the first "Spy Kids" movie, there is nothing racially offensive here.
The cast is virtually all White. This movie is set in the United States,
whereas I do not recall any indication of where the first movie was set.
There are more Nordics in this movie. One of the main plot elements is the
rivalry between the Latin Cortez family, with red and brown hair and green
and brown eyes, and the Nordic Giggles family, who have blonde hair and blue
and green eyes. But it would require more paranoia than I can muster to make
much of this. Besides, the conflict just does not map out neatly along an
opposition between Nordics and Mediterraneans. Papa Giggles and his son Gary
turn out to be bad guys, but little blue-eyed blonde Gertie Giggles turns
out to be OK. (She betrays her family to do the right thing.) The Cortez
girl is attracted to blonde bad-boy Gary, and the Cortez boy is attracted to
the hyper-Nordic daughter of the US president. Papa Cortez is played by
Antonio Banderas, but his wife Ingrid is a green-eyed redhead, her mother is
a blonde, blue-eyed Nordic, and her father is played by Riccardo Montalban.
Skip "Spy Kids II" and spend the time reading to your children. Take them to
an art or science museum. Teach them a useful skill. Tell them stories about
your family and its history. Take them to the woods or the seashore and
teach them about nature. Point out the constellations under a starry sky.
Give them a perspective on things that allows them to see movies like "Spy
Kids II" and the gadgets and fads they spawn as the trivial waste of time
they really are.
THE CAT LADY
Do you have a comment on this review? Send it