by Mark Rivers
In an attempt to cash in on their own previous successes (while silently
sweeping their megabombs under the rug), National Lampoon has released another
fecally-charged film, which is to be filed under "embarassments" as soon as the
DVD receipts start to taper off. "Van Wilder" is grotesque on every level.
Co-written by Jew Brent Goldberg and co-produced by Jews Robert L. Levy and Ari
Newman, this movie stumbles through the story of a seven-year college student
named Van Wilder. He is a sort of Ferris Bueller of the campus, and an enigma
to the smart 'n' sensible hottie journalist (Tara Reid), who just happens to be
the girlfriend of the stereotypical
snooty-frat-boy-moneybags-closet-homo-jerkwad so common to this type of movie.
Van Wilder's best friends are a dope-smoking negro and a dot-head named "Taj
Mahal." The dot-head, an up-and-coming "funny foreign type" now being pushed
heavily in the genre, seems to be the last brand of non-White the Jews are
allowing as an object of ridicule. The Taj Mahal character is shown as a
sheepish, stuttering bookworm at first, but then he develops courage, character,
conviction, AND finds the woman of his dreams (who, surprisingly, is also a
There are non-Whites are a-plenty in this picture. The student body seems to be
at least 75% non-White, and the few Whites shown are A) sadistic, clownish
frat-boys, B) hot White women who dance and grind with the negro basketball
team, C) Curtis "Booger" Armstrong in a throwaway role as a goofball security
guard and D) stuffy old society types who, after five minutes with party-boy Van
Wilder, are doing shots of Tequila and dropping their inhibitions like a bunch
of horny teenagers. The faculty and administration are largely White, but they
are also largely the enemy, standing for every concept Van Wilder shuns (you
know, being responsible, taking your education seriously, etc).
The inclusion of sex and scatology is just where it should be for the Jews'
liking. In one scene, Van Wilder and his pals manually masturbate their dog,
and use its semen to fill pastries, which are then delivered to the evil White
frat-boys. The frat-boys gobble them down, then see some Polaroids of the dog
ejaculating into the pastries, whereupon they throw up all over each other.
Jews are sickos.
Later, the head frat-boy gets his just deserts when his (ex-)girlfriend, having
fallen for Van Wilder, serves him a laxative-filled drink. He then fails his
exam and interview for med school, due to his incessant flatulence and having
diarrhea into a trash can in front of the interview board.
"Van Wilder" is one of the worst movies of the year. Skip it.
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