Amnesty Shmamnesty

by Carol Ward

I got real fed up this morning, listening to yet another oh-so careful radio analysis of Bush's amnesty for more millions of illegals. Every face and voice we see or hear in news radio or television risks certain professional death if they convey anything but unqualified love for diversity in such discussions. That makes these love fests are so vieux chapeau, they breed moths.

So I pick up the phone - drooling hater that I am - and while I wait my turn, I vacillate between the necessity for "minimal vituperation when proffering a conservative point of view", and yelling "Asshole!" at the radio each time some grass eater calls in and quotes that odious trollop-with-flame in New York harbor.

Yet, I am circumspect. I will NOT be saying, "How about severed heads on posts and land mines on the border?" -- that would be crude. And that business about Ebola and AIDS deaths saving the less dangerous animals of Africa --- well, I'll just have to repress those urges.

No, I want to comport myself in such a way as to be credible -- as drooling haters go.

Hello, You're on the Air with Mike ---

Then I announce on 50,000 watts that ---

"Ya know, every time you guys report the polls on Bush, you get it wrong. He can't get out of the low 50's for job approval because he's pissin away his base. But radio/TV news tells us it's because 'he's too conservative'. WHAT conservative?

He's a weenie and a traitor - a poseur. We elected Bush and got Gore-lite.

Before the election I said let's just elect the algore and get on with the shootin war. Why die the death of a thousand cuts with Bush, when we can get full-on Hasidic Despotism TODAY? Let's get it on! We need MORE from the olive growers on the left if we're ever gonna get less.

--- We need U.S Motor Voter in Mexico City. Lower age of consent laws for man/boy love. A Haters Hotline to report any who complain, and retina scans at freeway ramps to catch em when they flee.

---There'll be a permanent two-dimensional Monica cutout at the entrance to 1600 DISGRACELAND - with a hand held out so high, and the other hand holding a sign that says, "You must be THIS TALL to ride the president."

Then we'll soak the rich 'til they look like Gephardt. And if they resist we'll cut off their water and send in tanks to level their neighborhoods.

I think I'll get me one of them wife beater T's that sez - Christ is For Losers. When anybody tells me that's not true I'll say, SO WHERE'S AMERICA?

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