C. Picker: I understand you have settled on a system to govern the new country. How do the African brethren fare?

Jefferson: We are going to count black slaves such as you as three-fifths of a man for purposes of population counts for setting representative districts. Other than that, you are subject to ownership under regulations governing the acquisition and transfer of property.

C. Picker: What?! What was all that stuff about all men being created equal? I'm tired of doing your dirty work for free.

Jefferson: Quiet, son. You get room and board -- plus the ineffable advantage of exposure to your betters. Ask your mother about that. As for "all men," well, never mistake the toilet paper for the scroll on the roll-holder.

C. Picker: But I am a man, sir, just as you are -- yet you have provided that I may be bought and sold as an animal. Can not Your Excellence compass I am more than livestock?

Jefferson: You are biped, anthropoid. Biologically our races are capable of interbreeding and producing fertile offspring, as satisfies the scientific definition. So I conclude we are indeed of the same species. And yet there are differences that outweigh. Your genes are quite as nature might have left them, while ours fit a patterned composition. I have given due thought to your deserts. I think we have compromised reasonably.

C. Picker: A man, sir!

Jefferson: Hush, boy-- I am a thinker of the first water, an Anglo-Saxon political genius by proclamation of David Horowitz. I come from German forests, by way of British isles, and what I say is very probably correct. And I say to you, your time will come, although not in your time. Slavery is a profita-- excuse me, peculiar institution, and I fully expect it to die out when it ceases to do either of us any good. Seeing as I am a genius, let me endeavor myself to sculpture a lapidary apothegm; verily, to educe a gem concerning the prospects for sable posterity. Ok. I think I got it. Let me put it this way: 'Nothing is more certainly written in the book of fate than that these people (by which I mean you Negroes) shall be free; nor is it less certain that the two races, equally free, cannot live under the same government." You can cut that in marble if you've a mind to.

C. Picker: Begging your pardon, Sir, you may be a genius, but you are not a nice man, and your words are slippery as wet stones. You think so little of my worth as a human that you can own me legally and buy off this monstrous immorality by writing me a check post-dated God knows how long and telling me to cash it with two forms of ID in, where, Khartoum?

Jefferson: Well, somewhere on the Dark Continent. You must concede the degree of separation between our races admits of no--

Horowitz: No, no, no, Picker. Sorry, Tom, I've got to interrupt. Mr. Jefferson's on your side. The three-fifths was just a political compromise -- the Congress in no way intended this as a judgment on the value of the black race.

Picker: It sure feels that way. But maybe you're right. If it really were, they would have put it at zero-fifths. I guess it's my mistake for thinking I fit under the "all men" section instead of the "property" part. I will return to my duties, and leave you with yourselves.

Jefferson: These Negroes are excitable! It's almost like they've got a little of me in 'em. I am afraid the revolutionary fervor so necessary to our cause has stoked embers of fires not easily banked.

Horowitz: Yes, well, as George said, fires, like governments, and like slaves, are dangerous servants and fearful masters.... Say, Tom, you know about that second part of your statement, the part that didn't make your memorial wall --?

Jefferson: Yes, that there's no way blacks and whites can live together freely under the same government -- what about it?

Horowitz: You were just kidding about that, weren't you?

Jefferson: No, I wasn't. You can dig through all my papers and notes and letters, and you will find I can't be quoted on the other side of this as I can on so many other questions. In truth, I'm surprised you raise the issue because I don't know anyone among my peers who wouldn't have laughed at the idea. I can't recall any politician of my time who prophesied such a future. Blacks and whites are quite different animals, as the last few hundred years and living in California should have made clear to you.

Horowitz: Well, I think America could survive just fine, even if it were ninety percent colored and only ten percent white, as long as the political culture you and your fellows created obtained.

Jefferson: Well, I suppose. I guess you could have some sort of India-Raj situation, but it wouldn't be much... Oh. You mean ninety percent black, and with blacks free and possessed of all the rights of white men?

Horowitz: Yes.

Jefferson: [Laughs] And how long do you suppose that situation would last before we had an American Namibia? Four hours or five? I guess that's the sort of thing you have to pretend to swallow to get on Rush Limbaugh, but as Oscar Wilde would say, For God's sake don't believe it! Come on, man. I really expect a little more from you! [Laughs, shakes head, pauses for a second, gives Horowitz funny look]. You've seen Rhodesia and South Africa disintegrate under black rule, right? That individualist ideology's really bewitched you if you can't make the connection between black rule and the slide back into the jungle. Africans are not republicans, they are people who burn as witches their fellows who aren't tasty enough to eat. If, as I suspect, it is self-interest driving your studied ignorance, then you are a time-clocking shill and a crayon-shortener of the very worst sort. Reform, sir! Even your benighted friends at the Associated Press are forced to report that South Africa's violent crime rate is the worst in the world outside an active war zone.
Without bragging, I might say that South Africa and Zimbabwe are excellent examples of our farsightedness in denying blacks the vote -- a vital part of that Anglo-Saxon political genius you ignore while affecting to admire. Even as your 21st century conservatives' failure to heed our racial views is resulting in the rapid decline of your party, the discoloring and puertoriqueno-ization of your country, and the degradation of damn near everything degradable -- all cheered by your ubiquitous, yapping, insufferable Jewish media. And on that sector, a word. You know I think newspapers are indispensable to a republic, but even I have to wonder at what I see in America today. In the best of times papers survive on scandal, but the alien faction that now dominates your sheets and amplifiers was not at all what we intended. Your mass media is nothing but a Jewish hate group, and if you conservative media-watchers were a real opposition and not a spurious one, you'd print bumper stickers proclaiming just that. But then again, if our true heirs had heeded our immigration advice, these aliens never would have reached the shores. My true heirs never would have allowed a Jewish graffitist to deface the Statue of Liberty with the lie that the Land of the Free is really the Land of the Fill. I am angry, sir. I am angry at the destruction you Jews have caused in America, and I am disgusted that the stock whose path I paved has allowed you to lead them astray.

Horowitz: But America has been great for the Jews!

Jefferson: And how have the Jews been for America? Do they not champion every cause that endangers the white people, Aryan ideals, and Anglo Saxon civilization we founders risked our lives to secure?

Horowitz: You know, Jefferson, you sound like a Nazi, or at least a strident American nationalist.

Jefferson: And you label like a Jew.

Horowitz: As I was saying, everybody knows the Constitution is really about individual rights, not group or racial rights. Isn't it a fair, modern evolution of your liberal, universalist vision that blacks be allowed to vote?

Jefferson: No, it is not. I have always believed that blacks lack the capacity to be successful republicans, and the 175 years since my death have revealed nothing to cause me to change my mind. A man who claims blacks are capable of self-rule reveals either his disdain for evidence or his glorification of process against result. We are used to being warned of the man who would adopt any means to achieve his end; seldom do we hear of the converse and greater danger -- the man who would impose on us the sanctification of one particular means while banishing the any consideration of results; that is, the kind of man who would buy a painting by an elephant or an abstract expressionist and really believe he was exchanging money for art. It all hangs together, as your 20th century has shown. If Jackson Pollock is really a painter, then a black man is really a republican voter. The truth remains that expansion of the franchise is rarely the path of widom. More often it is a craven giving-in to the lowest popular agitation, a divide-and-conquer tactic of manipulative Jews. A republic is hard to keep when voters are few and civilized; when they are millions of TV-drenched niggers and wiggers it is impossible. You end up with mobsters like your current fuhrer, our first wigger president (although certainly not our first Jewish president). If blacks were capable of self-rule, it would be a mistake to deny them. As they are incapable, it is a blunder to allow them. It is a crime against civilization; a vital mistake.

Horowitz: You are not the man I thought you were.

Jefferson: You mean, I am not the man you pretend I was. Certainly not. But I remain the man I was. I don't believe you can say the same. By the way, I don't mind that your views differ, though I marvel at your cavalier dismissal of evidence; what I do mind is your misrepresentation that my and the other founders' views are your own. You are quick to call us geniuses; nearly as quick as you are to abandon our views the minute they conflict with your neoconservative ideology. Are you a fraud? An infiltrator? Who charged you with misrepresenting our legacy to serve their political purposes? Is there more to you than sly slurs and intellectual legerdemain? Sir, I don't mind telling you that your eelishness is off-putting and elicits my derision....

Horowitz: But you did say, didn't you, that all men are created equal. Or have I got that wrong, too?

Jefferson: Let me try again. From the start this country could barely get along, and that was when it was ninety percent white. Like I told Picker, don't take the flowery words literally. It's scrollwork, designed to be beautiful and "nice." It's cosmetic. Do you really think we could have kept the nation headed in the right direction navigating by principles like the "racial equality" you and your ilk now claim you find implicit in our direct statements to the contrary? Isn't "racial equality" better suited for embroidered pillows than considered policy? Isn't racial-equality just intellectual kitsch? We found it difficult enough mixing in Germans and Dutch and Irish with the English, let alone slaves and Cambodians and Mexicans. And remember, those people were kith and kin, biologically. I've studied enough science and made enough observations on my farm to know that natural differences between species of animals, to which races of men are roughly analogous, are real. You can cover them up with flowery words to soothe Jews, abolitionists and the insane, but for God's sake, don't think that changes reality. God knows, if we didn't have so much land to parcel out we'd probably been dead the first fifty years.

Horowitz: But what about my proposition that culture is the key, sir? If blacks and Mexicans are raised and educated and trained properly and immersed in the principles that guided the founders of the Republic, surely they will prove fit preservers of your political culture.

Jefferson: You are mistaken, sir. You might as well say, 'If blacks are sprinkled with magic dust they will become good republicans.' What do you think my "political culture" is? Whatever David Horowitz wants it to be? You think by knocking out the walls of my political house you are being 'inclusive,' as the modern cant has it, making more room for everybody, but what you have really done is destroyed the supports and brought down the roof. This is quite apparent wherever non-whites are the majority: Did you ever look at the people blacks actually vote for and the culture their dollars buy and their minds create? Don't they choose politicians with no more thought to the big picture than an elephant devotes to his "artwork"? Sir, I thought very long and hard in choosing my words about blacks because the stakes were the future of the American people, not a guest spot on Rush Limbaugh that would certainly be lost were you to publicly entertain, much less advocate, the conclusions I and my colleagues independently reached and risked our lives over. Perhaps when pre-Aztlan becomes north Mexico you will realize the truth of my words, although anyone who thought Marx was right for thirty, forty years is well equipped to see past anything.
The political culture we institutionalized did not allow direct election of Senators, nor did it allow blacks or women to vote. There were reasons for this. Good reasons that time has not erased, if public pressure has. When you speak in the name of our legacy but you knock out our props, well, as the country song goes, chutzpah says it all. In fact, your very presence in our country is a sign that our true political culture and Anglo-Saxon legacy has gone by the boards. A close reading of the Declaration reveals the signature of nary a -berg, -stein, or -witz. Because the American political culture is more a specific race's evolved way of dealing with itself and the world than a neutral, technocratic procedure, it is either impossible or difficult to transfer to other peoples in other places. And that doesn't change when those foreigners walk, swim, or fly here.
Sir, your real feeling toward the Anglo-Saxon political geniuses is not admiration. Your real feeling toward us is, How can I use them to serve my purpose? And that's common. But to be a true master-of-geniuses requires a higher standard. As with blacks, you don't respect the founders enough to look at what we really are. You don't respect us enough to take us seriously. You perversely and dishonestly pretend that we "really" believed the universalist pap you public conservatives now sell -- that race is irrelevant to being an American -- when in fact we believed the opposite. Is it, perhaps, a Jewish racial characteristic to make blatant lies about honorable men whenever it furthers your agenda?

Horowitz: But, sir, we've come to find over the last two centuries that culture, not race, is the key.

Jefferson: Wrong, quite wrong, sir! Your honest scholars have proved rather the reverse.

Horowitz: Well, we could debate that, but I still think if we can just teach the younger blacks about free enterprise and give them vouchers to attend private schools with real standards and--

Jefferson: What is this culture you keep referring to? It sounds like magic to me. But then reality is my starting point, not Theoria. Give me one stable, successful black civilization. I'm beggin' ya. Just one. We were as aware of the talented tenth as you pretend to be unaware of the untalented nine-tenths. Why must you masquerade as the world's first successful alchemists? Why do your ideas always turn on some mythical black civilization from which real black culture -- the crack and the rap and the Marion Barry voters -- mysteriously deviates? Sir, you count on defects of nature -- low IQs, low civilizability, hyperviolence, early sexuality -- being supplied by your superb pills, efficacious lotions and, above all, heaping mounds of salubrious words. But civilized white people never asked for and can't carry out the duties you would impose on them. No one could. Nature or evolution left black people in the lurch as constituents of an advanced, technological western society, and we are not the brothers' keepers. Your colorblind, individualist dogma is nothing but the concealed claim that if raised properly blacks don't exist; that is the sum of your pretense. By the logic you employ black skin itself is but the product of culture. For now it remains the sole racial characteristic your brilliant Jewish liberals concede is immutable. Everything else is due to "environment" or "culture" or "class" or magic. But I expect that to change. After observing a century of your sociologists and anthropologists effecting their campus revolutions redefining the meaning and significance of race, I suspect it is only a matter of time until some clever Hebrew "proves" that black skin itself is nothing more than evidence of an improper environment, and that with a $20,000,000 government grant she can develop a program -- call it Whitefare -- that will convert black babies into white adults. It's no more implausible than the rest of the pap you Jews preach. Dumb as it sounds, isn't it the obvious conclusion to all your liberal Jewish researches of the past couple hundred years? I expect such a claim to appear any day now, backed by throaty trumpets from your orchestrated big media hate band. The fact remains that most of the characteristics we all associate with Negroes are immutable, not conditional, and the daily world reflects this and serves as a standing refutation of your lies about black civilizability. The insidious danger is that blacks are enough like white people to make your individualist ideology plausible, but different enough to make it unworkable. The same is true of cultures and multiculturalism. No, colorblind individualism and multiculturalism are grossest alchemy, and would be laughed off were it not for Jewish media control. I repeat: Your claim that blacks could be civilized is really a concealed claim that blacks don't exist, which is itself just a aspect of the age-old 'Reality doesn't exist' mistake that took even the best of the white race thousands of years to climb away from. You assume that because you can make things in blacktown worse -- and in your earlier incarnation you certainly had a hand in that, Mr. Doublethinker -- you can make things better. Sir, if I could ask you to entertain seriously just one proposition, it would be this:

Black People Are Real.

They are not sepia-tinted, wrongly raised white people. The only time blacks even faked being civilized was under slavery and Jim Crow. They only and barely found the strength to curb their natural impulses when there was a very real threat of lynching. But just because a tiger's been trained to the whip doesn't mean it's a pussycat. It's still a loose-lipped feline looking for a chance. Now that the coin has flipped with your "colorblind" anti-white policies, the tiger's grinning wide and the rider's inside. Largely due to the efforts of Jew-led liberal academics and the Jewish hate group we call the mass media, normal white America has reaped the whirlwind I and its other champions sought to forestall by instituting a political culture that treated blacks appropriately rather than Semitically Correctly.

Horowitz: Sir, you are too pessimistic. Did you know there's a private school near Chicago where black fourth-graders read Shakespeare?

Jefferson: You make a strong case, sir.... By the way, I just saw the news today that Jared Taylor, the man you washed your hands of, has produced research showing that 90% of interracial crimes are black-on-white. It seems the data showed that blacks rape whites forty (40) times as often as the reverse, and that whites are 56 times likelier to be the victim of a black crime than the other way around. Exactly what I and the other founders were afraid of, and the reason I said that blacks could never be allowed to live freely among whites. Now I ask you, sir, do you really believe these facts can be explained away culturally? Or do they simply show nature having its way now that the white man I tried to defend has been buried under decades of anti-white media sewage promulgated, primarily, by your Mosaic ilk? These conditions are the products -- no, not of my legacy, which you misrepresent -- but of your own. Well, you have to live in the hell your illusions have created -- your and the other Jews' -- but what bothers me is that the normal white Americans have to suffer too. I lived in America when it really was free and Constitutional, and I enjoyed it. If my Anglo Saxon posterity hasn't the spunk to get rid of you and your brethren who have turned a pretty good place into a fuliginous, not-so-petty tyranny, well, I'm sorry, and I wish it didn't happen, but in the end I'm dead, and it's just not my business anymore. Even you might accurately recall what I said about revolutions.

Horowitz: There's no hope for you, Sir. I wash my hands of you.

Jefferson: At least you're in the open about it -- now. Perhaps my true heirs will wash the nation's hands of you.

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