Niggers in Uniform: They're Uniformly Niggers

by Douglas Wright

The Culture loves nothing more than an image of a handsome black person in a uniform, striking a proud pose, rescuing a helpless White or heroically jetting across the sky to battle foreigners. Even crusty Archie Bunker-types not given to gushing over blacks are softened by the sight -- especially when the uniform is police or military-issue. Look at that Denzel Washington, honey! With his appealing facial structure and crisp officer whites, he's the type of black man I'd gladly see marry my daughter!

Compelled by the goody-goading of the media, everyday Whites scour the landscape in a desperate search for images to confirm the Uniformed Black Hero image -- and to dispel their unspoken doubts about blacks. They couldn't be such worthless criminals if they're out there walking the beat, now, could they?

But of course, Uniformed Black Hero exists only in the media. Yet that seems to satisfy couch-wrangling White America, PBS- and Fox News-watching alike, that Uniformed Black Hero is everywhere. That insane black man in diapers and Nike slippers firing up a crack pipe on the D train? Must have been imagining things. That obese, T-shirt-clad black woman behind the counter at McDonald's who sneers "Whatchoowah?" Please re-direct your attention to the pretty, light-skinned black woman in the McDonald's television commercial -- the one with the smartly pressed uniform who perks up and sings, "Welcome to McDonald's, sir!"

Ahhh, sweet relief from the cognitive dissonance. You see? Not only are blacks not criminals, they're out there fighting crime, fighting wars, and rescuing fuzzy kittens from trees when they get the chance. Whites everywhere clasp their hands and sigh, grateful that the great black race is on the job, uniforms on and sidearms at the ready. The uniformed black neatly packages so much of the modern message on race, inverting every ghastly stereotype about blacks: that they're lazy, stupid, cowardly and criminally inclined.

Of course, there's just one problem with this marching brass band. To repeat the obvious: blacks are lazy, stupid, cowardly and criminally inclined. Even when they're wrapped in cloaks of officialdom and draped with badges, medals and guns. Under the uniforms, blacks are just what they've always been -- small-brained, wooly-haired, jut-lipped subhumans, some 50,000 years behind Whites in terms of human evolution but dressed up to look like us in a valiant attempt to Make It Work.

Here's what blacks in uniform actually do. In suburban Atlanta last year, incumbent black "sheriff" Sidney Dorsey gunned down incoming black "sheriff" Derwin Brown in retaliation for losing the election. Unlike the black sheriff of "Blazing Saddles" who fooled the bumbling Whites and saved the town, Dorsey was DeKalb County's Mobutu Sese Seko. He turned his office into a patronage pot for fellow niggers, steering lucrative contracts to unqualified friends and hanging softly-lit portraits of himself in the jail. One account described him as "impeccably dressed." No word on his crime-fighting skills, but he must have enjoyed preening in his White-man playsuit.

Not satisfied with the ill-fitting co-option of one White image, Dorsey the Nigger Sheriff snuck into the White closet for another costume grab. When a professional cowboy involved with charity work came to visit one day, his chaps and spurs inspired Dorsey to learn how to ride a horse. "He said, 'I know I'd look good on a horse,'" the cowboy recalled. Later, "He'd dress up like what I'd call 'urban cowboy,' kind of like a country-western singer."

But dressing up like Andy Griffith and Roy Rogers couldn't transform Dorsey the Nigger Sheriff into an upright public servant any more than donning a business suit transforms the Rev. Al Sharpton into anything more than lowland gorilla with hair treatment. The nigger in a uniform is really the absurdly logical extension of the nigger in Western clothes. A creature content to wander naked under African skies is tragically unnatural dolled up like a White person. It's not far from stuffing orangutans into human clothes to get a cheap laugh in used car commercials.

I'll wager not everyone is always fooled. I doubt many Whites feel safe with the protection of the ubiquitous black rent-a-cop, an ultra-low-qualification do-nothing job perfectly suited to fat, dull-eyed drip-lip niggers. And they get to wear a uniform! It's not so funny, though, when these corn-rowed idiots stand guard at the nation's airports. Wonder who was on duty when Mohammad Atta hopped on that fateful flight?

We do know who wasn't there for the raising of the American flag, Iwo Jima style, during rescue and cleanup at the World Trade Center: niggers. The now-famous photograph clearly shows three White firefighters raising the flag, yet the sculptor commissioned to recreate the scene turned one of the Whites into a nigger and the other into a spic. What better proof that the Uniformed Black Hero is nothing but a fantasy in the mind of a feel-gooder?

Not having ever served on a police force, I have only anecdotal evidence that black cops suck. The economist John Lott once did a study demonstrating that in communities where the police department practices affirmative action, crime goes up. He left open the possibility that this might be acceptable, if it were needed to make blacks feel a part of society. Which, come to think of it, summarizes our policy in general: whatever sacrifices are required to make blacks feel good are worth it. Even if it means that Whites are more at risk of assault, robbery, rape and even death.

The day I sat down to write this piece, I ran across a story in the Jew York Times about one Lillie Morgan, a U.S. soldier convicted in military court for drowning her two children in retaliation for her husband's cheating. Without a photo, I was left to guess Pfc. Morgan's race -- which I guessed to be black, based on the name of one of the children: "Jazmin." Sure enough. A photo on the Stars and Stripes website showed the black-skinned Morgan, resplendent in her military best. See she-nigger defend freedom!

So there we are. Black police officers, black military personnel, black anything with a uniform on, proving once again that it's what's underneath that counts.


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