|
You Might Be a Yahoodi!
by J. Loxworthy
1) If you hear about a million-dollar swindle and the first thought that leaps to mind is, "Piker!" -- you might be a yahoodi!
2) If the mirror cracks when you turn your head sharply, either because of your nose or your looks -- you might be a yahoodi!
3) If the thought of decaying stinky carp trapped in a jar makes you salivate -- you might be a yahoodi!
4) If your idea of a successful hunt is a ten-year-old crying on the ground holding his nuts -- you might be a yahoodi!
5) If you think nobody else should be allowed to think, talk or fart without your express written consent -- you might be a yahoodi!
6) If you think you're entitled to live a life of ease based on imaginary atrocities committed against your great-great-grandparents -- you might be a yahoodi!
7) If you think pretty blond girl-slaves make the best rentals -- you might be a yahoodi!
8) If your good book tells you Jesus is swimming around in a hot tub of reproductive fluid for all eternity -- you might be a yahoodi!
9) If the thought of Bathhouse Bernie being denied his Scout commission turns you purple with rage -- you might be a yahoodi!
10) If the first nine make no sense and you can't understand why everybody hates you -- you ARE a yahoodi!
J. LOXWORTHY
|