Louie Hooey

by Carol Ward

I have a special affection for Calypso Louie. I think he's a hoot, and no dummy. Everybody else hates the guy. His media image is a collage of force-fed hooey, highlighting his more colorful assertions so we'll ignore his common sense sermonizing. My kids and I were hollerin' "TELL IT TO ME, BROTHER" at the TV when he delivered fiery exhortations to million-man marchers. He's gotten better actually. In a recent speech, he called on

"Hispanics, American Indians and other ethnic groups to unite in destroying racism. "You kill it with excellence from the darker people of the world," he said.

Okay, Louie. That's an astute and measurable sea change in radical black rhetoric. And a smart one. I think it's in our best interest to help him rehabilitate his image so he can start layin' into the Hebes again. Then he's really a hoot. He's as good as Keyes when he gets ta preachin'. He told 'em: "If the truth were known, there would be a Nuremberg trial for American presidents," [can't fight with that] He followed that with "I cannot allow them to use the American solider, black, brown and poor white, to fight a war that is unjust and wrong." [Sounds pretty sane as well]

He got da goods on dem Hebes, yes sir.

Just what ABOUT the death of those half-dozen enlisted Jews in WWII? - You know, that handful of Jews who signed up to die fighting Nazis... Juus were in the trenches all right ...drawing up the contracts for reparations after our farm boys died on the greens. Somebody besides Louie quantified the Jewish contribution to the war effort for me, but I lost it in my essay fodder files ... readers please forward those fabulous stats if you have 'em. They're instructive and explosive.

I confess I have a soft spot for fundamentalist blacks. Nothing stirs the juices like midnight service in a black Baptist church on Christmas Eve. I'm not even a believer, but if you join in the marathon clapping and song, you can convince yourself that the Big Guy himself reached out in dizzying redemption. So what if it doesn't last....

What I do believe in is Politics. And there is always a bunch of it going on. Some of it more deadly than others. So when Maxine Waters, Louie Farrakhan, and Lakers basketball star Shaquille O'Neal mobilize ONE MORE demographic against the undeclared war on Islam by Neo-con American Jews, it's a good thing, not bad.

Buyer's Remorse

Number of the ten amendments in the Bill of Rights that are violated by the USA Patriot Act, according to the ACLU: 5

We bought Bush and woke up in a Gore-Tex suit. Remember my earlier premise... An algore presidency, no matter how awful to contemplate, would have been better than the death of a thousand cuts by Bush. Nobody wants to face it, but an algore win would have been a boon to civil liberties by comparison. He wouldn't have had the courage to twist and suspend the Bill of Rights the way this president has, even if 9/11 played out as planned under the Dems. President Algore would have spent four years with his nose in a different set of polling figures, watching Saturday-Night-Live to improve his media image. Gore would have dedicated himself to courting the right wing, while Bush spends four years leveraging homosexual Mexicans with my money. Oh, and today I read that Health and Human Services plans to spend a hundred million bucks to assist minority marriage -- honest. It's Conservatives for family values.

Bush voters walk around with a plastered-on smile, nodding in "rapt lachrymorosity." It's my term and I love it. Rapt Lachrymorosity -- a four-hanky movie -- jaw set, teeth clenched in impoverished denial. The Bushies pander to pretty much every liberal and socialist cause. Increased military spending being the exception, for it was the necessary payback to Tel Aviv West for Florida voting machines.

What has Bush done for Hank and Marjorie and Betty and Ralph in Des Moines and Indianapolis? ZIP. That's right ZERO. Nada mucho. Hasta luego suckerisimo... Bush is preoccupied assembling new constituents from former Democrats, while conservatives wince and wait.

America the beautiful....

Suffering Suffrage

Michael Medved is my favorite Juu. He's smart enough that the sheer number of logs floating around in his eyes perplexes me. He complains that he cannot see. He thinks support for the eugenics-based Jewish police state is pious and reasoned because the perps are Jewish. He has family in Israel, but I gave him more credit for objective analysis. Should listeners suggest that Israeli population controls resemble those of the Third Reich, Medved recoils from measurable and observable fact, and retreats to emotional reflex. "Jew good-Muslim Bad-Christian questions Jew tactics-Christian enemy too." It's a simplistic stream of thought for the most intelligent people on earth, don't you think?

Today Medved displayed that same inattentive thinking, but on another subject. He was discussing the distortion of the election process by women who vote physical beauty and cede liberty to government as super nanny. Medved and his callers said women were pretty much responsible for the huge leap in government reach since Roosevelt.

I agree, in part. In an earlier essay, I outlined the problem of the parasitic coalition that produced the mess we've made of democracy. Remember, democracy is the honeymoon of stupidity. Now that 20% of the workforce is government workers who combine their votes for increased government spending with SS recipients, librarians, teachers, research scientists ... well, I hope someone besides me gets the picture. It's grim. Easily half the country depends on government spending for their entire personal wealth, so the end is near for property rights and the private sector. The pool of producers is shrinking...and the pool of parasites is growing.

I'll make it simple for Medved and company -- NO ONE who receives money from government should be allowed to vote. Why blame it all on women? Okay, women are first-class parasites, drooling at the prospect of trading liberty for security in their personal and political lives, but the sickness extends to academia, social services, everyone else on the dole. You solve the problem of government as giant sucking sound ONLY if voters are net contributors, not beneficiaries of taxation. This is a no-brainer, yet Medved kept focusing on women. Retired Aunt Beatrix is the same breed of parasite as the AIDS researcher, astronomer, DMV and postal worker. Less-is-more-Republicans gleefully added a whole new layer to this mix -- the marginally unemployable known as Airport Security. Yum.

Now there's ZERO distinction between political persuasions, because any working majority will require the support of those whose sole income is tax based. We are hurling toward democratic meltdown, with immigrants, teachers, retirees, and government workers all yammering for more, more, more, more, every election cycle.

Federalization of airport workers won't make us any safer, but a lot of those marginally unemployable new feds will now make better wages and benefits than producers in the private sector - With the added bonus of franchise to select for torment and humiliation anyone who displeases them.

It reminds me of the young psychiatrist assigned to Ypsilanti Federal Penitentiary...after 12 months on the job she diagnosed the most dangerous inmates as those in the blue uniforms. It seems the most twisted and irredeemable sociopaths were those who gravitated to police work where they could exercise their unbridled sadistic fantasies on children of lesser gods locked behind the bars.

O beautiful for spacious skies...[sing it with me brothers and sisters]... for amber waves of grain... It won't be long now... purple mountain majesties... above the fruited plain...

The Brown Shirts of Pleasantville

Catch the fever. It's called the New Liberty - freedom from choice. 21st-century travelers can either catch this wave to the future and subscribe to the reasoned goals of New Libertarians, or drown in a backwater of vilification, waiting for a travel permit good for 36 hours on the interstate highway of your choice.

Most will jump on, given the benefits of tagging and registration. Why suffer the lines, searches and interrogations of anonymous citizenry, when you can enjoy freedom of movement wearing a radio collar? What with the Untagged reeking havoc on power lines, rail tracks, and unprotected streams worldwide, it's only fair and natural that civil society offer benefits and incentives to those who help prevent anonymous acts of lawlessness.

Tagging saves money and lives. How can we defend our open roads and wild empty spaces if the Untagged also exercise "freedom" to litter, debase, or disrupt the public infrastructure necessary to our way of life? The world became a safer place when we outlawed anonymity.

J'Accuse 2005

We are the models for the world. We share only two values - a love of blonde jokes and fear of "others." It's no joke that humor has now been correctly identified as a major underlying cause of societal rift and concomitant terrorist activity. New Amerikans accept that humor is as dangerous as religion -- it's a wedge not a bridge between community builders in a diverse population. Humor requires there be winners and loses. Its pleasures are indicators of a dangerous multi-tiered society - those who make the fun - and those who are the brunt of 'jokes.' Those who 'get it' and those who don't.

Opinion makers grew tired of the burden and expense of protecting reservoirs, fuel and food supplies from angry constituencies of one. Malcontents were usually extruded victims of some marginalized value system acting out against the authority of prevailing wisdom. It was necessary that we establish Amerika as a value-free zone. We now welcome all belief systems and they are equal before the law.

No more bullying. No more hate. No more tolerance for intolerance. No more unspeakable acts of terror and anti-terrorism between proponents of dissimilar worldviews. Bully laws, combined with tagging and humorless egalitarianism transformed our society from a war zone of competing belief systems into quiet gated communities with centralized security for any number of alternative lifestyles.

Critics say we have become a country of isolated haters who share nothing but mutual distrust, addiction to security, and a xenophobic dread of every other living thing. These are at worst short-term residual side effects of the New Liberty. We are confident that in time, Harmony deductions will eliminate feelings of isolation and the concomitant need to 'act out' in an otherwise orderly, and predictable society.

Uniform Codes

Harmony deductions are measurable educational and wage subsidies earmarked for people who breed ONLY with genetic opposites, or actively embrace and promote hitherto fringe behaviors. It's an ambitious plan, with the lofty intention of eliminating physical, emotional, sexual and cognitive differences that produce aberrant manifestations of 'individuality' between unlike peoples. It's an 'everyman' approach to solving the problem of isolation within groups - rather like cargo pants, deck shoes and expedition shirts. History teaches that the most effective dress codes are self imposed -- at the beach, on the slopes, at the office or panhandling for change.

It's part of the Code. We look alike, act alike in public, and think alike. Almost.

One of our more celebrated gains in self-image that translates immediately into reductions in property crime has been the elimination of the mortgage interest deduction. Without that hefty refund from government, fewer people need or want the responsibility and liability of property ownership. It's already burdensome for the average citizen to navigate the minefield of lawful conduct and tort law. When nobody knows all the laws, everyone is a criminal depending on who's measuring which behaviors, so asset protection became a nightmare.

New Libertarians would rather minimize their risk, avoid nuisance suits and own nothing to defend. Less demand translates to lower rents and prices, and lower prices means fewer housing starts and demands on our physical environment.

The problem of Bestiality has been successfully reduced to a zoning regulation based on the Dutch model. Those who prefer sex with animals, may do so in the privacy of their rental homes, but are held strictly liable, should they puncture the bowel, or otherwise endanger domestic animals. We are hammering out the details on legislation that would prevent certain acts with endangered wild species as well. Heaven knows we don't want to invite new rounds of eco-terrorism from friends at PETA, now that Inclusive/Morality/Zones minimize particularly deadly riots by South Africans.

And crown thy good with Brotherhood, from sea to shining sea...


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