Do-It-Yourself Hate Letter

by Mark Rivers

Dear ____(1)____ ____(2)____,

I am ____(3)____ that you would print such ____(4)____ on your site. You must be some kind of ____(5)____ to deny the accomplishments of our beloved ____(6)____. In my fourteen years as a ____(7)____, I have never heard such ____(8)____. Why don't you spend more time ____(9) ____, instead of ____(10)____? Maybe then you wouldn't be such ____(11)____ ____(12)____.

In conclusion, allow me to refute your arguments: ____(13)____.

Goodbye, and ____(14)____.

Signed, ____(15)____.

  1. a) racist b) Nazi c) bigoted d) hateful

  2. a) trash b) swine c) pigs d) bastards

  3. a) shocked b) appalled c) enraged d) saddened

  4. a) tripe b) garbage c) crap d) hate-filled rhetoric

  5. a) losers b) latent homosexuals c) toothless trailer trash d) impotent morons

  6. a) African-Americans b) Jewish-Americans c) Mexican-Americans d) Gay-Americans

  7. a) high school sophomore b) Pentecostal spinster c) bored housewife d) Liberal Arts major

  8. a) insanity b) nonsense c) balderdash d) uhhh, crap

  9. a) loving and sharing b) praying to Jesus c) reading Anne Frank's diary d) helping minorities

  10. a) reading Mein Kampf b) spreading hateful poison c) corrupting young minds d) this crap

  11. a) narrow-minded b) pig-headed c) hate-mongering d) booger-eating

  12. a) fools b) anti-Semites c) lunatics d) rednecks

  13. a) uhhh, you're full of crap b) uhhh, I can't think of anything, but trust me: you're wrong!... c) uhhh, you suck! I hope you die! d) There is only one race -- the HUMAN race! Gotcha!

  14. a) I'll pray for your eternal soul

    b) I hope we never meet, 'cause I'll kick your ass!

    c) I hope some black guy saves your life someday

    d) I hope some black guy rapes you in jail

  15. Anonymous


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