How to Marry a High-Quality Woman
by Elizabeth Bennett
Chapter #6: How To Spot a High-Quality Woman
High-quality women are about 0.1% of the U.S. population. If you continue to use the Random Social Drifter Method of Mating, and like a little boy wait for the woman to approach you, your odds are less than one in a thousand. Good luck playing Lotto.
A Militant Crybaby Wails: "I give up! It's too hard to find one!"
You face the same problem as any other salesman. How do I target my marketing, prospecting, and sales efforts? Marketing (searching for a buyer) is only effective when it's highly targeted. The good salesman knows where to prospect (i.e., which industries, company size, which industrial parks) but he also knows how to recognize a prospect and a non-prospect within the field. A few telltale signs and clever questions will tell you whether to stay and keep talking, or leave and go knock on another door.
The Five High-Quality Female Archetypes
Only you can decide what your ideal woman is. But in my opinion, there are five archetypes of High-Grade Woman found in America today.
Type I: The Physics Genius
She's usually introverted, always highly analytical, and an introspective thinker. She outscored all the men and boys on the SAT in high school and college. She has a higher I.Q. than just about everyone. She looks around, and sees idiocy and inefficiency. She has a sarcastic, dry sense of humor and a grim look on her face. She doesn't need "affirmative action" or "women in science and engineering scholarships" to get in.
Don't confuse her with the pretentious mediocrity of strident, insecure, feminist study-bee who gets B+ grades by memorizing the textbook, but lacks a man's skill at building and fixing things -- or the bisexual freak with hair on her face -- or the 300-lb beast in calc 308 who washes her hair once a month. This girl's mathematical/spacial skills are up there with the men. She knows how an engine works, has taken one apart, and greased it. She "thinks like a man" in most areas (but not sexually), so she'd likely get along great with you. Logical thinking and problem-solving is her strong point. So is intelligent conversation (including literature, movies, and politics) if you can get her to come out of her introverted shell. Her sex drive is also much higher than that of other women, and she's likely left-handed.
She's also MISERABLE. Why? She can't find an equal. she's only seen three guys with I.Q.s higher than hers and ONE with any masculine body language. None of them were interested in her, because of the clothes she wears, and the makeup she doesn't. She has NO flirtation or seductive skills and is embittered because the few times she tried to reach out, she had shit thrown in her face. Inadequate little males love to snicker at her and attempt to tear her down.
Here's a portrait of a typical female physics genius I ran across: Jane is of German-English background, 5'10", with an athletic hourglass body like a young tennis player. She has long, clean dark-blond hair, thick with a loose wave. As usual she hasn't bothered to comb it or style it one bit; it looks slightly soft and fuzzy, as if she just got up from a nap. The only makeup she's wearing is Chapstick (does that qualify?). Her nose is very shiny. She's under 25, so still a virgin. Her telltale signs of depression and stress are: a slightly lanky, underweight look; a lost-in-thought grim frown; puffiness under her eyes; a stress-fest of abrupt, rushed, downright ungainly movements.
Don't expect this type to display one ounce of seductive body language (yet). She's an awkward, shy tomboy all the way.
Can you look past caked-on makeup to the beauty of a healthy, intelligent White woman's face? Can you look past the clothes, and the rest of the damn artifice decades of TeeVee have schooled you to be aroused by? Rethink your old notions of "attractive." Does it consist of the natural, the genetic, and the non-cosmetic? Or is it painted on?
In this group, you want to go after the young ones (under 30, better yet, under 22) who aren't too far gone yet.
Where to Find Physicists
She was under your nose in all your engineering classes. But you thought you needed a "cute" girl. Too bad you missed your chance there. Do you work in a technical capacity at a large corporation like Intel or Boeing? Make the rounds of all the research groups. Most will have a token affirmative-action woman in them. One in twenty will have a real woman.
But for most men, the easiest way to find this girl is by going to the library; either the city library for a high school student, or a university library for a college student. Sit by the front door so you can see everyone going in, and make a project out of it. Go there several times a week for many months. (It's not time-down-the-drain if you're reading or working.) Follow her into the stacks, the study cubicles, or upstairs. Meet her or sit down near her by "accident." Simply make steady, brief eye contact and say, "Hi," flatly. Be DOMINANT, CALM, CERTAIN, and RESERVED. The reason you have to spend so much time at the library is that these types don't get out much -- even to the library.
Is she hanging out with a chink or a dot-head? Don't judge her too harshly. It's probably her co-worker, lab partner or her safety blanket -- the only friend she has. Everyone else is envious and scared to death of her, poor thing.
A second possibility is turning into a huge fan of women's intramural sports. These types are usually into bicycling, lacrosse, volleyball basketball, jogging, swimming. Scan the crowd to separate the blank-faced cunts and shemales from Quality.
Go after the young ones. Let me tell you, she is both the easiest to seduce and the hardest. She is easy, because she is totally inexperienced, highly sexed, and romantic. She is hard, because of her terrific paranoia and judgmental hostility. She has been laughed at behind her back too many times. She doesn't know much about people. She thinks anyone who isn't a physicist, is probably just a stupid, lying parasite trying to get her in bed and then laugh about it to his idiotic friends later. She hasn't yet learned to respect a man without a Ph.D. in math. After she's working on her Ph.D. herself she'll finally realize it's all a bunch of bullshit, but until then...
Keys to Seducing Physicists
This girl puts a high value on physical appearance, height, and strength. She can see past facades and judge a well-bred body. It doesn't matter if your clothes are awful. But height and looks give you a big advantage. She's had a few low-quality sleazebags try to pick her up. Don't be one of those. Be reserved. It helps tremendously if you're an xNTx (introspective thinker) like her on the Myers-Briggs scale. If you can, read a textbook even more advanced than hers -- an even thicker computer manual. Don't smile too soon; don't ingratiate yourself. Anything close to a pickup line will put you on her blacklist forever. All it takes is one screw-up in the beginning. (Of course, sleazy pickup lines and artificiality are anathema to any High-Quality Woman.)
Act busy. Be writing an article. Don't just pretend to read your book. After a while, try to catch her eye and smile in an almost indifferent way. Say something flatly and with little inflection like, "Hi." Or "What class is that for?" motioning toward the book. It doesn't really matter what you say first, as long as it's semi-relevant and stated as an absolute with an almost Spock-like absence of emotion. Say with brightened interest, "Are you Chem E?" as if you really care and identify with that. Don't reveal much about yourself too soon. Be mysterious. Don't give her anything to sniff at. The best thing you could do is be an expert in her field -- if you're older, you'll have the upper hand here because you'll be working with the latest technology out in the field -- or building real roads -- not just rushing around in college. This becomes a great excuse to give your business card and tell her there might be a summer job available -- or some kind of a token fieldtrip for extra credit. Say, "Can I call you sometime next week? So what's your number?" (offer a slight smile and honest, sincere eye contact) Definitive comments impress her, like, "(Sigh) You look pretty smart. You don't look like one of the morons." This will really make this poor tired warrior glow inside.
Introspective thinkers (xNTxs) fall in love through discussing ideas and working with technologies. Don't be all greasy and kissie-poo. When you take the risk to ask for her phone number, be totally deadpan, S-L-O-W and matter-of-fact. Explain you'd like to show her the company or the new machine. Tell her to come some weekday when everyone's there -- not a Saturday when she's afraid you'll get sleazy with her.
Take things very slow with this girl. Argue about physics with her. Show her you know more. Show her how the machine works. Show her how competent you are. If she shyly shows you her computer program, look at her softly with utter sincerity and say with leashed intensity, "This is a really good design. This isn't shit, Jane. (pause) You know what you're doing." Then, if she melts and blushes, or smiles ear to ear, or trembles and looks down -- kiss her; wrap her long hair in your fist and pull her face back. When you feel her pulling away or freaking out, hold her and say, "Don't push me away just because I'm a couple years older than you. I'm not a sleaze, and I'm just as smart as you are...I respect you, Jane."
Paradoxically, you can't read too many silly romance novels to prepare yourself for lovemaking with this apparent female Spock. DOMINATION is the key. She thinks she's such a damn know-it-all. Hold her down, pull her hair, scratch her butt with your fingernails, tell her what's what a fraction of an inch away from her face.
Worst-case scenario: She'll refuse to marry you, and insist on getting her shitty master's degree first. She won't listen when you tell her it's bunk. She's been taught to rely on herself, not others. To her the career is protection against all the men who would abuse her. Be principled. Break it off with her, and say, "If you're ever in trouble or need help, or need someone who cares to give you advice, call me. When you're ready to marry me, let me know." Then give her one last loving glare, turn, and walk away. Don't be used as a sexual comfort blanket while she does the school thing and uses birth control. Her love for you will fizzle. Demand a wedding ring, or you're only temporary.
Of course, this poor girl will find out, when she's 28 or 30, that she missed her chance. She'll be alone, bitter, and careworn, as the biological clock strikes 10:30. I know it's unconventional, but here is the God-honest truth: the way to capture this girl is to withhold sex from her until marriage. You heard me! Finger her and make out with her, to make sure she's normal, but don't have intercourse. This 25-year-old cherry is really sick of being a cherry. Don't make her give up her ridiculous studies or career (that's likely a deal-breaker). As soon as she says "Yes" to marriage you can have sex with her. Then she'll begin to stall on the wedding date. Demand immediacy. If Miss Spock has Feet of Clay, wave your arms around and shout -- threaten violence, "Don't play mind games with me, Jane!" Let her know you want to get her pregnant -- at the very least get married immediately. With a little luck, she'll change her mind, after she has an orgasm with you. Spend two weeks in bed. After that she won't know what hit her and will hopefully not care if the physics dept. falls into the sun.
Type II: The Humanities Queen
This type is also an analytical introspective thinker (xNTx on the Myers-Briggs/Keirsey scale). However, unlike Type I, she's an extrovert. Her verbal skills will knock you flat. She's the female lawyer, yammering like a Patrick Henry, ripping somebody apart. She's the saleswoman hanging out at the business organizations and community clubs working the room. Once in a while she shows up at political parties and looks in vain for anyone interesting there.
She's been through a lot of wacked phases and is probably in one right now: Randroid, Leftist, wannabe religious charlatan, Machiavellian, libertarian dope smoker, corporate politicker, wild dropout political activist, Fascist -- you name it, as long as it's based on hatred of the masses. She smiles sweetly one minute, morphs into Wild She-Cat the next.
Your author is included in this group -- the most frightening of female personality types, the ENTJ Field Martial. What can I say? You'll just have to read David Keirsey's Please Understand Me II to understand women. They won't have the same personality as you so you better get some insight into what makes other personalities tick.
This type is a real know-it-all, too. She appears to be the belle of the barbecue, but inside she's just a lonely-in-a-crowd waif, who psychologically shares much in common with Type I, the science nerd. In fact, she may dabble in science and technology or even have an engineering degree -- but used it to go into industrial sales instead.
You might catch her off guard when she thinks no one is looking -- like when she goes to the bookstore looking doggy without all her makeup and high heels on. She tends to act a little nerdy sometimes when she loosens up.
The key to seducing this type is very similar to the rules for Type I.
Say it again: DOMINATION, DOMINATION, MALE DOMINATION. Get out your riding crop. This one thinks she's the center of the universe just like Gen. George Patton.
Time to teach her a lesson.
Or, put the riding crop and the wet towel away for a second. Maybe what she REALLY needs, DEEP DOWN, is a calm, well-adjusted, easy-going man -- normal ideal to the core we covered in chapters 3 & 4. Maybe what she's really looking for is male inertia to counteract her high-strung angst...someone who just grins and shakes his head when she acts bratty. Someone who refuses to be manipulated.
This one likes to fight. She loves to metaphorically (or literally? Eh?) lunge at you to scratch your eyes out and then get her face slapped and "raped." She's not into cornball stuff like S&M -- it's just that she's so feisty and spirited! She likes to wrestle and bear-cub with a cute beefy guy!
Don't be too intimidated by her. Other men sure are, and therein lies your advantage. You will be the only normal man she's encountered: who acts masculine, isn't afraid of her, and takes the lead romantically. She's probably dated a few psychopaths and rakes, who aped some of the male mannerisms of dominance on the surface, but rest assured she didn't catch anything from them. She probably made them fill out a 50-page questionnaire and submit to a full battery of VD tests before they got undressed. Don't let her tell you what to do. If you think she's worth getting serious with, just amaze her by plopping your own test results down on her desk. Remark by way of explanation, "I just wanted to let you know I was a clean boy."
Despite her spiny exterior, the Humanities Queen is a warm, kind, pliant White woman who would just like to have a loving husband and some kids. In some ways, she's more brilliant and multi-faceted than Type I, but also more high-maintenance, demanding, and unstable. She combines leadership and social skills with administrative talent, and will surely be running the house and the kids like a tight ship. Just be strong -- so she'll never dream of running you.
Type III: The Trophy
Type III looks like a model, is extremely energetic, and has an I.Q. of at least 135. She's not as intellectual as our first two types -- she's more grounded and very ambitious financially. She hopes to marry for love AND money, and she deserves it. She was probably a cheerleader or dancer in high school -- didn't take advanced math but got A's and B's just the same. She's the life of the party, confident, with a wide smile. She's too good to be in a sorority, but she joins one anyway for the social benefit. She's dated quite a bit -- a second-string NFL recruit here, a surgeon there.
On the Myers-Briggs personality scale, she's the dashing ESTP (extroverted, sensation-seeking, probing tactician). Male ESTPs are the most likely to start their own small businesses and succeed, of all the 16 personality types.
She's not just a pretty face: Although she hasn't read War and Peace, she has commonsense conservative political opinions, a brilliant wit, social skill, and an infectious glamour that makes twerps green with envy and good men and women overflow with gladness. Good people love being around her -- and letting a little of her sparkle rub off on them.
As with Type II, don't be intimidated by this one! Looks can be deceiving. The NFL dolt she was dating probably dumped her for a new Barbie who wasn't as smart. The surgeon was probably a stressed-out anal control-freak. Has she ever encountered a good lover or a man with genuinely masculine body language? Not likely.
The key to winning this woman is being a cool guy. Show her that you have money, you have a good physique and good genetics, and that you have a very good social network. You'll have to date this one, because she demands it. To her, it's a fun lark. Take her places she's never been before that will make her laugh -- like a WWF wrestling match, a monster truck show, a rodeo, or the best rock concerts. Shower her with little gifts, like a heart necklace for Valentine's day, and be dashing in an off-hand, joking way when you put it around her neck. Look into her eyes and say, "I want you to be my Sweetie." Take her to visit a bunch of your friends and extended family in a ski resort. Take her horseback riding on your dad's ranch in Wyoming. Be energetic and masterful when you teach her how to do new things. (She may even be into wild stuff like skydiving or bungee jumping.) Show up at her door with flowers and a grin on your face. Joke and be a bit of a ham. Play your guitar for her with your eyebrow raised mockingly.
Mocking but attentive behavior is a big key to seducing Type III. Imitate Rhett Butler in Gone with the Wind. No man was more attentive, yet mocking. Don't let her get the idea you're a little boy who loves her like a puppy. She can't control you. You want her, but you never really show your full weakness in moments of intimacy. You don't tell her much about your angst, your problems at work, etc. That's what male friends are for. You have to be her lord, her King. She has a HUGE EGO and a vast perception of her own beauty. She's like the irresistible, but cruel goddess of fertility in the Norse Myths -- the platinum blonde, icy blue-eyed Freya. You have to be an escort who is worthy of throwing your shadow over her.
At some point in your courtship, your offhand mocking will have to turn into a subtle, but iron-hard form of male domination. Hold her wrist in an iron grip for a few seconds like a little game, then release it. Be smooth at social functions, but sexual. A light touch, like your fingers brushing along her throat and collar bone, can be evocative. You're going to have to start acting like you own her, and you're not going to take no for an answer. Stop short of violence, but just barely short. A little forcible restraint now and then, or gripping her hair and pulling just a little, will be enough. If you call her up to ask her on a weekday date, and she says, "But my hair's all wet!!" laugh and say, "Great! I like it wet, it's sexy. I'll be there in 15 minutes."
If she tries to weasel out of a date you set two weeks ago by saying, "I'm so tired! I was getting up at four in the morning this week writing proposals and they made me come in early to make phone calls!" Say, "Excellent. You'll get to sleep in on Saturday, Gretta. We're meeting at 7:30...A.M." Push her a little bit. She likes it.
She likes to be chased. When you meet her, remind her of your name before you leave. "Oh, and don't forget, my name is Scott. Rhymes with forgot," and grin. When you call her up the first time, drawl, "Well hi honey, this is Scott." Say, "C'mere Dear" and "Sweetpea" in a slightly absurd way on your first date, grinning, before you barely even know her.
It's about the art of looking sharp, while making it seem effortless and careless. Dress immaculately, then throw your unwashed, grease-stained yachting jacket on like you don't care.
#1 Pitfall: Trophies like to use sex to get money and power -- and that means withholding it while promising every unimagined delight. They'll try to pussy-whip you by giving you a blowjob, a hand-job, or sometimes even having intercourse and then disappearing. Then the weak, sap of a guy with warm feelings, starts crying because he can't take the hot-cold treatment. Don't let her do this to you. Make her fall in love with you -- she's as warm-blooded as any other woman -- the signs will be the same when she can't stand the tease anymore. At that point, go get the engagement ring. Propose to her in bed before you take most or all of your clothes off. Get her yes on the idea of a prenup -- later, give her a generous one, but don't budge on your position and stand your ground negotiating. Enjoy having sex with the most beautiful and charming woman in the city. Then do something wild to immediately close the deal...sign the paperwork, or go on a lark with a big group of friends to a hilariously tacky Vegas wedding chapel. Laugh a lot. Let your gladness show, but don't let your guard down all the way. Never let your guard completely down with this woman. You spoil her like a princess, but you also rule over her. She loves the challenge and the thrill of the chase just as much as any man -- never let her think you wouldn't leave if she got bratty. You love her, but conditionally. After the deal is closed, she and your moms can plan the big wedding to make a show in front of the clan -- and you can breathe a sigh of relief, relax, and congratulate yourself on this huge coup.
Where do you find a Type III? You'll see them. Your head will turn. And you have to do whatever it takes to get her phone number, whether you're in the grocery store or at the symphony. Cleverness and ploys will have to be used; she's a fast-moving target.
What's in it for you? Class, every day, in your home, on demand. A wife who's your best social and business asset. Three tall, gorgeous kids, one of whom can take over the family business. An uplifting environment with some glamour and charm. Sex with the most beautiful body. Pride of ownership. And the satisfaction of knowing this goddess is submissive to you and fully in love with you, for life. She wouldn't dream of dumping you if a richer guy came along. She's not looking -- especially after she has kids.
Just remember that this woman, even more than the other types, won't have sex with you every night or tag along with you to events better left to the guys. She has to maintain her body, which includes time to herself at the gym, shopping, visiting her mom, and exercising with girlfriends. She'll probably only have intercourse with you if she's ovulating or you pull a big romantic stunt with hours of foreplay and sensuality. She can afford to be a little cruel; she'll make you work for it. And after all, you'll love touching & looking at her body! All other types of pleasure in bed will be generously given.
Type IV: Nietzsche's Free Artistic Spirit
This woman is more in touch with her feelings than all the previous types. She is highly intuitive. But don't confuse her with all the stupid save-the-whales I-love-puppies types who are feeling-driven. This girl is very bright, whether she was National Merit or a creative force who skated through -- while making her own movies, writing her own songs, forming a band, or excelling at creative writing.
She's much more laid back and down to earth than the first three types. She doesn't care how much money you have -- at all. She'd be perfectly happy to live in a trailer park or a tiny slum apartment if she were in love with the guy. She dresses down, and is more interested in emotional expression or alone-time with her guitar or keyboard. She can pick up a musical instrument she doesn't know how to play, and pick out a simple melody. Most likely she's an xSFP (intuitive feeling-driven playful prober). She's looking for a cute guy who reassures her and really loves her. She's also looking for someone fun and relaxed. Trust is a big issue with her, because she's not analytical enough to be a good judge of people. In a bad mood she sees them all as one hideous, confusing mass of tittering vicious freaks -- or as potential buddies when she's in a good mood.
She's usually introverted, but unlike the physicist will frequently and spontaneously break out in a smile or give physical affections, like hugs, even if she doesn't know you well.
She probably comes from a blue-collar background, perhaps with a tortured, alienated high school experience or a drunk father who beat her mom. She likes working with her hands and doesn't view any kind of work as beneath her, even if she graduated at the top of her class. She seems to have an inherent modesty and low self-esteem -- but not low enough to sacrifice herself on a bad man. She probably remains a virgin longer.
She's articulate, expressive, and very human. She's warm and kind. But emotionally she's a roller-coaster...great passions and longings swinging from deep depression to giggling warm laughter, enthusiastically delving into a new art project. To win her you will have to be extremely patient, warm, fun, and kind -- in addition to everything else we've talked about. Don't expect her to be a clean housekeeper -- she's messy but homey -- and don't expect her to have a lot of sex drive; she's too afraid of being hurt or abandoned, and her art and music gives her a big sensual outlet.
But she's easy to be with, totally loyal and unpretentious, intelligent. There isn't a fakey bone in her body. If she says something, it's the truth, not manipulation.
The more intellectual and abstract members of this group focus instead on writing and verbal skills -- the perfect metaphor, the well-told anecdote, the moving speech, the understanding counsel. These may take a strong interest in human psychology, human resources, education, or philosophy.
They are a different personality type xNFxs (introspective feelers) on the Myers-Briggs scale. The most annoying traits of the NF woman is her total lack of logical thinking ability. An anecdote becomes The Truth; a generality turns into a principle; rationalizing -- not reasoning -- is a way of life. Her words construct models and systems that say -- what? They quote a lot of statistics, pull at your heart strings, but it adds up to non sequiturs and "post hoc, ergo propter hoc" (after this, therefore because of this) fallacies. They hop all over the map of notions like a grasshopper, hopping to the next branch before you can call them on their contradictions. They look busy, but accomplish little -- not much of anything. A lot of hot air. Only tangle with an NF female if you can get her to shut up her rationalistic psychologizing of you (trying to be your shrink) and admit that she's no good at logic (just empathizing with other people) so leave the thinking to you.
I'm going to offend some people here, but NFs are trouble. All the NFs I have ever met have been space cadets whose touchy-feely poet ideals were always painfully shattered in the face of reality -- then they moved on to a new relationship/marriage/one-night-stand. They are great at turning a phrase, hosting a party, and writing a poem -- and pretty much lousy at everything else.
But perhaps you disagree with me. Maybe you're an NF yourself, or think you know how to handle them. Go ahead. There are plenty of NFs who are "glittering intellects."
Final thought: Under a firm husband's logical grip, an NF might be sane.
Type V: The Faithful Penelope
This is the wife you want to have in a war. She's cautious and doesn't shoot off her mouth. She's loyal, protective, alert to concrete details, practical, and down to earth. She's a good mother and so submissive she'd be happy having a huge family and doing all the chores without help. She's the xSTJ (concrete-judgmental guardian or "logistical intellect"). Her cupboards are always full and there are always clean towels in the bathroom. The cooking is always nutritious. She's a nest-builder, a help-mate.
It's not hard to recognize a true Penelope. She has everything done and organized before people ask. She does it before the boss tells her to. She's the most efficient nurse in the hospital, the fastest waitress, the most accurate and trustworthy accountant. In an emergency, she's the one who always swings into action.
The run-of-the-mill SJs have tiny, conventional minds -- the worst lemmings of the bunch. Their houses are full of tacky knick-knacks, anal-retentive cutesy "country" decor, and little flower buckets. They are control freaks who like enforcing all the little rules and laws and taboos and time-wasting bureaucracy our society is filled with. Fundamentally, they crave security and sameness, and have no imagination. They're religious, too.
But we're not talking about those here. We're talking about the high-I.Q. variety of the orderly SJ -- the George Washington. The best among them are rocks of Gibraltar. If you have more than your fair share of angst or space-cadet-ism, you might want to go after a Penelope. If she loves you, she'll patiently cover up for your flaws, taking care of the details, keeping you sane, cheering you up, raising the kids, keeping the house clean. She'll swing into action if you want her to organize a get-together with your friends. she's so competent and commonsensical, she'll see that all the logistics run smoothly while you simply be yourself. Like Heimdall, the Guardian of Valhalla, she's always looking out for the safety and security of the group, and never really rests.
Here's a tip: Have you ever thought this rock of Gibralter, this patient Penelope might need a break? She'll work for you until she drops in the traces. Her self-discipline is what protects your bank account balance, your health, and your kids. When she's bent over the stove for the nth time some year, why not pitch in and do her work for her? She'll try to refuse. Make her take breaks, buy herself some new clothes, or spend some time for herself. Force her to. Strive to be more practical so that you can take over when she's sick, depressed, or exhausted. It's easy to think she doesn't have any aches and pains, since she rarely complains. She's not hard to please; safety, simple comforts, a little fun, and your approval all she wants.
Most thoroughbreds don't need the spur. You can run them to death, just by asking. They try so hard to do the right thing, they'll race until they fall of a heart attack.
And this is pretty much what happens to the SJ martyrs who are holding our society up.
This is Penelope. Once she marries you, she makes the commitment inside her own mind to wear the yoke of duties to the grave. Don't spit on this kind of loyalty by abusing it: by taking it for granted.
Penelope deserves to be treated with protectiveness, empathy, and respect. Read The New Sensual Massage and do relaxing touching until she falls asleep at night. Ask her how her day was, to show you care and appreciate her help -- even in the mundane details (which life is full of). Make an effort to take care of all the practical details of a vacation -- the packing, etc. -- before you even tell her the plan. Then give her a protective hug, and tell her how much you appreciate how hard she's been working.
That's how to win a Penelope. Be the only man who has ever shown her, and told her, how much she is valued. Be the only man who takes care of her as much as she takes care of everyone else.
To be continued...