How to Marry a High-Quality Woman
by Elizabeth Bennett
Chapter #5: The Art of Bonding
Most men settle far too easily because they say they're "in love." (Sure.) You know, the good-looking man trailing a fat cow at the grocery store; the hardworking blue-collar man whose wife is a slob and spends all his money; the cold skinny rich-bitch who refuses to have any kids. Most men are Social Driftwood, who get hitched to the first tramp who smiles at them a few times, or crawls into bed with them.
Living life with a woman (or women) NOT of high quality is a drag.
In my experience, the kind of man who reads VNN has a different problem entirely. Your problem is, that your standards are very high. You are highly intolerant, demanding, and idealistic (which is good, but) You judge too quickly, and give up too quickly. Like my good friend Lord Darcy, you look down your nose at every woman you meet, conveniently ignoring your own shortfalls. It's difficult or impossible for you to fall in love, so you conclude "there's no one out there."
This is perfectly understandable. Northwestern European males are a special breed; highly analytical and reserved, pondering their past mistakes and bad experiences with women as soon as someone throws them a flirtatious glance -- this is true even of the extroverts and easiest-going ones among them. All around them they see people engaging in a meaningless ritual called dating: going to the movies, going to dinners, wiggling around like a worm, gyrating their hips to some thudding "music," then "falling madly in love" after three months of "dating," and rushing off to get married. "We have so much in common!" they pant breathlessly. "He likes rollerblading, sunset walks on the beach, baseball, and ice cream, and so do I!!" Every so often our Norseman notices someone with a nice-looking ass -- but it's hard to get too excited about just an ass, isn't it? Then the intelligent Northwestern European male starts wondering if there isn't something wrong with him.
The Mystery of Bonding
The fact is, dating sucks the way its done today; it snuffs out love between us. Love has nothing to do with "dating" and a lot to do with ROMANTIC BONDING, slowly over a period of time.
Remember the play My Fair Lady? In the beginning Professor Higgins didn't care much about young Eliza. She was nothing more than a scientific experiment, to prove to his colleagues he could take a healthy, vigorous, clean-hearted Cockney gutter-snipe and make her into an aristocrat. He sneers,
Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do!
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Eliza didn't speak very good English, but he changed that. She didn't know what to say in social situations, he taught her how. She didn't have any nice clothes to wear. He fixed that, too. She was his Pygmalion Project -- his attempt at sculpting a real woman into his ideal. She was his Human Clay. She tried hard to improve, and eventually caught on; she was a good, hardworking girl. The transformation was miraculous. But it was never enough for him -- until she left.
All alone again in his gloomy study it begins to sink in. A tear wells up in his eye
I've grown accustomed to her face
She almost makes the day begin
I've grown accustomed to the tune
She whistles night and noon
Her smiles, her frowns
Her ups, her downs
Are second nature to me now
Like breathing out and breathing in
I was serenely independent and content before we met
Surely I can always be that way again
And yet I've grown accustomed to her looks
Accustomed to her voice, accustomed to her face
But I'm so used to hear her say "Good morning" every day
Her joys, her woes, her highs, her lows
Are second nature to me now
Like breathing out and breathing in
I'm very grateful she's a woman and so easy to forget
Rather like a habit one can always break and yet
I've grown accustomed to the trace of something in the air
Accustomed to her face. . .
Most of us have fallen in love once -- often in adolescence or college. It was probably unrequited. It was as if we imprinted on them so completely -- eventually, his flaws didn't matter. Her flaws didn't matter. She was The One.
Bonding isn't about making a silk purse out of a sows ear. Its about finally realizing, in wonderment, the rough, uncut Hope Diamond that lays before you. Take a look at the very young Julie Andrews as Eliza, with her long brown hair down to her waist, those soft, humanistic doe eyes. She was very fine, for all her ragged clothes and Cockney accent.
Love is bonding that happens most easily in youth -- not because love is a naïve youthful thing and the "smart" "mature" thing is to be a cynical robot -- but because young women tend to be virgins who withhold sex from you, long enough for you to fall in love with them.
This BONDING happens suddenly -- almost overnight -- after a long period of initial infatuation, sexual frustration, talking, flirtation, unrequited lust, friendship, heating up and cooling off -- spending time together, basically -- in situations that enable bonding to occur. Very rarely people fall in love more quickly, in situations of high stress. Extreme stress makes people more likely to fall in love: wars, social alienation, the college swindle, high school, starting a business, mountain climbing, wilderness survival trips.
The obvious conclusion is that "dating" as it's done today is a disaster. It is a straitjacketed, phony game of charades, where the man pays away a lot of his hard-earned for useless non-values, while the woman sits, dreading the moment when she'll be required to participate in an awkward, passionless goodnight kiss. Both parties sickened by the thought they're supposed to be excited.
Sometimes people with the discipline to wait six months to a year into the dating game before having sex achieve a mongrel form of half-bonding. They think they're in love for a short time, then mysteriously fall out of love. In fact they were never in love at all. Hence all the marriages and live-ins which last three years -- followed by another marriage -- and another one -- and so on. The meaningless practice known as "serial monogamy" or a succession of one-dimensional "meaningful relationships."
Life is so sterile and dull these days, it's no wonder women fall in love with bad boys, who create stressful situations all around them. The psychopath creates emergencies so he can sweep in and dramatically rescue his girlfriend -- the wild and crazy, impassioned wife-beater -- you know what I'm talking about. Also, psychopaths are excellent at masculine body language -- because psychopaths (often con-men) zero in on what it takes to get what they want, without being held back by feelings of nervousness. They can do what the woman wants, because they don't have any feelings of insecurity themselves. However, once you understand how to behave, you can easily out-compete the small number of psychopaths and bad boys monopolizing young, naive women.
High-Quality Women can't have an ejaculatory G-spot orgasm during intercourse without being deeply in love. That's why 98% of them have never had one.
Even animals won't have sex with strangers. In horse breeding there's something known as a "teaser stallion." During intercourse, a mare has a G-spot orgasm, and the contractions literally vacuum the semen into her uterus. Studies have shown mares can suck up several quarts of liquid when they climax. Unfortunately, many stallions aren't able to excite a mare -- that talent has been domesticated out of them. They've "forgotten how," just as most men are too "civilized" to do it today. If a stallion makes a mistake and tries to climb on the mare too soon, she gives him a vicious kick -- which can result in severe genital injury, crippling, or death. So a "teaser" stallion, (typically a more intelligent, fun to ride, cooperative horse, with larger eyes and a wider forehead!) is brought in to do the foreplay. "Teasing" the mare involves nickering, nuzzling, breathing into each other's nostrils, biting her neck, stomping, snorting, and biting her ass. After about an hour the mare begins to squeal, and lubricant runs down her back legs. Teasing isn't brain surgery. It's not hard for an intelligent young stallion to learn how to do. Unfortunately male husbandry often requires a meat-head (with whichever confirmation traits) to come finish the job, while the teaser stallion is led away (not without a terrific struggle.) Secretariat was a good stud. He could do his own teasing.
Don't be an impatient, one-dimensional meat-head. Be a teaser.
Speaking of good studs, let's talk about Nordic men. "Dating" and "saving yourself for marriage" are apparently two pathologies imported from Mediterranean Semites, according to Simon Sheppard's Heretical.com. In Germanic societies, landed families and their hired hands survived the subzero winters by sleeping in the kitchen of the big house, lying around the fire. In the spring, the unmarried girls moved out of the house and slept up in a loft or haymow above an outbuilding. The young men would come visit them in the evenings and serenade them. If they decided to admit one or more visitors, they opened a trap door and lowered a rope or ladder down. The group of young people gradually got to know each other this way, until the man started sleeping with the girl -- with his clothes on and outside the furs. Gradually over a period of summer nights he started shedding his clothes, first removing his shirt, and so on, until eventually both of them were completely naked. At this point they announced they were betrothed. A betrothal might be broken off, without too much damage. A marriage ceremony only occurred if and when the girl became pregnant.
It was a gradual bonding process, culminating in the ability to create a family, which Nordic culture recognized and valued.
It goes without saying these young people also worked together, and watched each other working. They had family and economic ties of a naturalistic sort, close to the land.
Be a naturalistic Nordic, shed artificiality.
The Art of Bonding
So, the million-dollar question is: how do you get a High-Grade Woman to really fall in love with you? To bond with you so tightly that she'll say, "His flaws don't matter -- he doesn't have any to speak of, he's Perfect!!" When she bonds with you, she'll want to have half a dozen kids by you. She won't care how much money you have, as long as you can pay normal bills. She won't want "sexual variety" or get a seven-year-itch and flirt with another man. She'll start crying sometimes and hold you when you're thrusting inside her, because she loves you and wants you so much. Shell never get overweight, because she isn't depressed and disillusioned with life. She's as happy and in love with you as the first time you kissed her.
Well, to parody a bogus book by two Jewesses, here's:
The Rules -- for Men
Limit the relationship to "friendship" at first, with an emphasis on group-activities. Friendship is in quotes, because it will be sexually charged, but nonetheless, it must be a real friendship. When you put yourself alone with her too soon, you give her too much of yourself. You also deprive her of the pride she feels in being seen with you among the clan. You increase her stress level, because at this point shes afraid of you, but does not yet trust you or love you. (She doesn't want you to touch her.) Small groups of men and women who are the same age are GREAT. Do active things together, not passive things. Women get turned on by seeing men work, play, and just move around. Your reflexes are so fast! You are so much stronger than we are. It's nothing short of mesmerizing. When you only let her see you sitting in a chair and walking down a street, you hide almost your entire self, as a man, from her. Let her see you carry the heavy pack. Lift her down off the rock. If there's a party, don't just sit there! Organize a game that excites the girls: chase them around with a pair of vampire teeth. (Women are fascinated with Dracula.) Play murder-murder, a great cocktail party game where you get your sweetie off into the basement, a closet or an upstairs bathroom -- and "strangle" her, leaving the other party guests to discover the "body" and solve the mystery of who the "killer" was. Pillow fight. Grab her and point a silly toy phaser to her head and say, "Now you have to do whatever I want. You're my prisoner." Say, "I'm going to teach you how to dance. Come here." If there's a silly plastic Halloween knife (which you brought) on the coffee table then why not pick it up and say, "Hmm. This is a nice knife. (pause) Rrrrrrr! All the better to rape you with, Liz!" And hear her laugh and squeal. Don't be so uptight at parties. Women love to wrestle, hoping youll pin them down on the couch or the bed. If she starts gets feisty with you, grab her wrist, swing her around, and pin her against your body. Arm-wrestle her, but don't beat her right away, let her feel your strength for a while: shell LOVE that. If you're strong, lift her up in the air and throw her, or carry her around, either draped in front of you or piggy-back. Everyone else is under the influence of the sick Jewish media and riddled with insecurity. They never have any fun. The women will be shy at first, but theyll all end up fantasizing about this guy who FINALLY came through with something flirtatious and exciting. If this extroverted stuff just isn't you, then focus on being authentic and naturalistic. Let everyone else be stiff, shallow, and pretentious while you have a REALLY DEEP CONVERSTION with a woman. Above all, don't be all uptight if you get semi-hard, or even all the way hard. Women like and expect it, and it makes your penis look bigger, anyway. If she starts verbal parrying or minor insults, its a challenge. Answer back with a raised eyebrow, a silly threat, or a hatred stare. If she goes too far with her insults, counter her railing with the inert male response of someone who's too strong to notice her pathetic attempts at dominating you. Lean back, cross your arms behind your head, and laugh. Or say something like, "You think you can control me? That's pretty funny." Heh. Do not, under any circumstances, try to kiss her or feel her up. This will make you look cheap and needy in her eyes; a puppet she can begin to manipulate. Use eye contact and masculine body language to build her torment and frustration until she's past the point of no return -- and exploitive manipulation.
Take Your Girlfriend to Work Day: What kind of woman doesn't get wet when she sees a good-looking man working swiftly and competently on some heavy machinery, giving orders, or typing software code at light-speed with 10 different windows open, including the debugger? If you're reading this website, you're probably competent at your job. Show her your work. Let her watch you. Let her see your skill, strength, and quickness. Landscape artist? Take her to Home Depot and let her help you load the truck. Her efforts will be peanuts compared to yours, but always let her help to underscore the contrast between your work-pace and output -- and hers. Remember the scene in "Dr. Zhivago" where Lara assists him in surgery, then just looks up to watch him, with that adoring expression? That was the turning point. After that, he had her. My best friend has been in love five times. Four times, it clicked after she saw him at work. The last, when she saw him play sports (which almost became his career).
Memorize Chapter Three, Mental Detoxification
Memorize Chapter Four, Male Body Language and Eye Contact
- ; Save her if she's really in trouble; Help her out.
Act Protectively Toward Her
Withhold Physical Contact until she can't stand it anymore. Goodbye hugs are all right; hold her firmly and prolong it. But don't kiss her until you're certain she fantasizes about having sex with you every night, and her heart pounds like a frightened bunny rabbit when you get close to her: don't kiss her until she's in love with you, has thought about marrying you, and wants to have your kids. There will be signs when the pot starts boiling. She'll tremble or suddenly stop making eye contact with you, when she was flirtatious before. She'll look angry, yet it's not anger. If you walk up behind her and take hold of her upper arm, and grip it, shell arch her back and turn, pressing her hips into your groin and sucking in her breath. If you so much as brush your fingers against her back, shell feel the jolt of an electrical charge going down one side of her body and into her abdomen. When you do kiss her, no asexual little pecks, smacks, or other faggoty bullshit. Grab her! Make it totally unrestrained, whether it's slow and sensual -- or raw. Hold the entire length of her body up against yours, so your hard dick presses into her stomach. "What if she laughs at me or pushes me away?" Jew TeeVee, Inc., and their sick sitcoms laugh at sex, just like they laugh at urine, feces, motherhood, and patriotism. A White woman who's in love with you (or merely has a crush on you) won't be laughing. Many people have pondered and scratched their heads, wondering what the connection is between sex and violence. The answer is, sex IS violence and women want to have sex with a violent man. Thats why all paperback romance novels have rape fantasies, and all romantic BBC mini-series have torrid and rough sex. She's afraid of you, especially if it's thicker than average. As long as it isn't "smah, so smah" like those of the miniature 2-inch long Japanese men in "South Park," it excites her and intimidates her. The fact is, women experience sex as a delicious form of violence. What is more violent than losing control of your body for nine months, swelling up like a tick? I know it's hard for you to understand (because you aren't a faggot who wants to be dominated) but if you don't understand how women feel about sex -- the mixture of pleasure and pain, fear and excitement, melting in a haze of pleasure and degradation -- then you can't be a good lover.
Don't spend money on her until youre engaged. Radio talk show host Tom Leykis and his "Leykis 101" mock-serious sex and relationship advice for men, has a lot of wisdom. If you spend money on her with expensive gifts and meals, you'll never know if she's just using you as a wallet and cares nothing for you. Also, gifts create obligations, and when she feels guilty or obligated toward you, she'll feel repulsion and dread. Duty makes it limp.
Once you're engaged, don't waste time closing the deal. Get her pregnant. Get married. Get the marriage license and postpone the ceremony -- anything! Just don't agree to a long engagement. That is an extremely fishy request that shows she's still in doubt about you, and wants to play the field for another year while she has you tied up.
Withdraw after Most Advances Don't wait for her to shrink back after advances -- do it first! That is, until you kiss her or sleep with her. The great Venetian prostitute's best line in Dangerous Beauty is "It's the wanting that makes us alive." Don't let her think she can wrap you around her finger, and manipulate you like the other needy, neurotic basket cases she's been using and abusing. You're not a penis leading a thick-skulled dolt around. You're in control, and you're going to make her follow you and obey you. When you cling to her or push for physical contact before she's decided she wants to have your kids, you put yourself in the position of a beggar. Again: Stay in control. Don't fake emotions, and don't repress emotions; just control your drives. Let her see the pain on your face when you can't satisfy your need with her, but make it clear your brain is still in control of you. Women usually get over their crush on a man when he starts pathetically, tentatively begging in the way he tries to feel them up, and reveals he's just some stray dog.
Wear Comfy Clothes like plaid flannel shirts, that she'll want to get close to. Look like a guy who has a cozy cabin getaway somewhere, away from the idiocy of the modern world. Look like a fireside guy. As a rule, the simpler the clothes, the better. Wear a plain, heavy white shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes, for example. If you have a deep-chested, strong physique, don't hide it. Forget the skinny little body-fat-ratio-of-zero media ideal of Brad Pitt. No woman of high quality goes for that. If you have a beautiful, tall, straight-limbed Germanic body, show it, with no ornament, no distracting clothing-knickknacks. If you're closer to average, then focus on cozy, relaxed, and clean. Accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative. Different kinds of clothes look better on different body types. If your legs are thin, wear dockers, not shorts. If your shoulders aren't extremely broad and heavy, wear a heavy sweatshirt (or two) in winter to bulk up; in summer wear a heavy cotton undershirt under a linen shirt with a banded collar, or other full-bodied fabric. If you aren't deep-chested, but have beautiful, thick wrists, hands, and forearms -- don't hide them with long sleeves!! Push your sleeves up. If your upper arms are big, wear short sleeves. Wear expensive, high-quality leather shoes, either plain suede lace-ups or over-the-foot buckle types (if you're big and heavy). Don't wear slob shoes, like Birkenstock earth sandals with your ugly toes and toe jam showing -- or tacky loafers with little tassels on them that say, "Faggot!" or "Anal-butt finance dude," or "incompetent salesman!" If you are one of those devastatingly lucky guys who's six feet tall and beautifully made, remember those quilted-flannel coat-jackets with the straight sleeves that were in style in the early 90s? Hot. Hot. Here's what to avoid: sleazy silk shirts, especially in bright colors (Latino loser!), tight-fitting sweaters or shirts with metallic, rough, or shiny fabrics, pants with a bunch of pleats in front (makes hips look wide), or cheap shoes or belts.
State Openly that You Want to Be a Patriarch. Say things like, "I want to have at least four kids, and I want my wife to stay home while they're young," or "I'm looking for a High-Grade Woman to have my kids, none of this messing around stuff; I don't play the dating game." Say it simply and definitely, in a way that closes the door to questions. If a feminazi starts yelling, who cares. Extremely good-looking men actually have a disadvantage dating high-quality women because they're assumed to be promiscuous or carrying a disease. She's seen the Jew values on TeeVee and the phony "sexual double standard" myth is burned into her head, so it's only reasonable of her to be suspicious of you. Let her know you're moral by just stating it. For example, if you've spent some time together and you decide to hug her, she might pull away. Hold her and don't let her. Say, "I'm not a sleazy guy. You're the only woman I'm interested in right now." Or, "I'm a sincere guy. I haven't dated around that much." If she's still pulling away, Ill be extremely surprised. If so, let her go.
Have Pride In Yourself. You're a High-Grade Man. You're as valuable and important as all the downtown real estate in Chicago, or a railcar full of gold. Constantly remind yourself that you are a GIFT to a woman who falls in love with you -- a protector, a lover, a best friend, a leader. Don't sell yourself short by trying to touch her like a needy little boy before you know she wants you. Don't open up too fast, or move too fast. Keep your private thoughts PRIVATE until you know she can be trusted. Open up to her gradually and walk away if you encounter an insurmountable difference. The tremendous advantage of the bonding system I describe is that up until the last minute, you can both walk out and still remain friends -- and still keep the clan intact. You haven't kissed her until youre 95% positive you want to marry her. Until that point, it's just been playful kidding around, signals, and buildup.
Spend as much time with her outside as possible because sunshine makes people happy, and their memories of the event will be happy. A plain-looking man out in the sunshine is more exciting than a good-looking man indoors out of the fresh air. Go to the beach, the meadow, the farm, the woods. Take her on an expedition far away from the madding crowd of the city. What if after you knew she was in love with you and had kissed her a few times, you took her camping up to the high altitudes in the autumn in Seattle into an alpine clearing that was bone-chillingly cold at night. You brought two sleeping bags, but ruthlessly made sure they weren't warm enough, so she has to zip them together, and share some body heat. Most women find it incredibly erotic to get cold or chilled, then be embraced and kissed all over and taken care of. She won't be able to stop kissing you, wrapping her legs around you, pressing up against you all the way down your body with those little wave motions, holding onto you for dear life! You'll end up having sex with her for the first time, right out in the middle of the woods. If you can go backpacking far enough from civilization to have intercourse outside, under the sunlight, you'll give her a wonderful experience unlike any she's ever had before. Most people have never had sex outside in the sunlight. Isn't that a crying shame? Talk about the bizarritudes of our fucked-up, over-crowded modern world. Talk about cozy times with the clan: telling stories of all kinds around a campfire, on a warm summer night out in the middle of nowhere -- and all the couples can sleep together in tents, kissing, some of them with some clothes or a nightgown on. Now that's a good time.
She's Not Perfect? Neither are You. The Real Ideal is the diamond in the rough. We fall in love with someone after a long process of bonding. It's part Pygmalion project, part acceptance though deep attachment, part discovery that their way is better than yours after all. Don't expect a marriage partner to materialize in space one second, say and do all the right things, and then sleep with you three months later. That is a losing attitude. "Many are on the road to destruction, only a few find the path to life and happiness." The key to that is to rebel against the Niggerish Media Morality of the Jews, which shows promiscuous sex, rushed courtship, and the woman laughing at the man and manipulating, bossing him around, and emasculating him. You're going to go back to your roots and do it the Northern European Way.
I could go on and on with examples -- but I'll bet you understand the concept. The concept is, hold back. Be a teaser. Follow your instincts and your finer feelings both. And when you stop teasing, go 100%, all the way.
If you set about bonding with a woman in this way -- while at the same time using the right body language, and displaying the right mental, emotional, and spiritual calm and commonsense we talked about in previous chapters...you have a tremendous upper-hand over 99% of the male population.