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An Open Letter to Mr. Morris Dees of the Southern Poverty Law Center
by Victor Gerhard
Dear Mo:
Exactly whom do I have to kill to get in that Intelligence Report rag of yours? I
mean, hey, I've been in this pro-White movement for like five years now and not a mention.
You realize of course that we hater-types lack the kind of all-in-one jamboree-jumble of a
publication you big boys are able to put out. It's not that we don't want it, but we don't
have the few hundred million in the bank like you do. So I think you should realize just
who your audience is, fella. Do you really think some Seattle bleeding-heart yuppie cares
what the new Resistance Records CD cover looks like? No way! We're your core demographic
and we want some respect.
Without our own little scandal sheet we have to rely upon your review of the
movers-and-shakers of our jolly little band to stay informed and up to date. But what do
we get? -- same-old-same-old every time. Take, for instance, the Fall 2001 issue. Who do
you have profiled? David Duke, Tom Metzger, Don Black, Jared Taylor, William Pierce and
Pastor Butler! I mean come on -- been there, done that. Not one promising rookie or
newcomer in the whole issue. Why don't you just save time and re-run the Fall 1985 issue,
for Pete's sake! These guys already have the women swarming around them! I think you've
completely overlooked your effect on the whole radical-right dating scene.
We are in a symbiotic relationship here, buddy. We make lots of far-out statements and
march around some, and you publicize it to jack up your donations. In turn, we use your
publicity to get more recruits and media coverage; but hey, you know all this, you invented
it. At least that's how it's supposed to work. You can't just come into our movement and
take and take without giving something back to the community. Us guys out here in the
woods would really like to see an "up and coming" section, so a few of the little guys can
get some "pub" for once. Why not a feature on some of the leaflet-tossers, the
sticker-spreaders, the street-level Paki-bashers - in other words, the grunts in the
trenches who get things done, the blue-collar types of the movement? So often these
underappreciated guys have to wait until they're arrested before you give them a mention,
and even then it's barely a mug shot.
I am sure you don't realize the prestige that goes with having one's face on the IR
cover, superimposed over your ubiquitous Swastika graphic. Instant stardom. I mean, it's
like stealing the Reverend Doctor General Sir Martin Luther King, Esquire, college fund for
pregnant welfare bums and getting away with it.
We depend on you for the "buzz" in our hopping scene. Who's sleeping with whose wife; who
beat up whom at Hammerfest; who turned informer and was subsequently found dead in a
landfill - all the little stuff that makes a movement a movement. But all we get are the
same old faces and tired stories over and over.
And what about more women? Are you sexist or something? How about a swimsuit issue?
Think about it - "Bikini-clad Nazi Chicks and Their Guns." Now that would fly off the
newsstands. Or hey, make it a calendar! Just between you and me, we both know every
little Jewboy in New York would be drooling over that one.
I appeal to your sense of compassion. Where would you be without us? That's right, still
doing the "college birthday cake" delivery scam you were using way back when. Don't forget
your roots, chum -- we made you what you are today. So Mr. Big Shot is forgetting the guys
from the old neighborhood. Is it so much to ask to toss a little something our
way?
I'm more than ready to meet you halfway. I've avidly studied the myriad "symbols of hate"
you so generously supply on your website. I would be willing, if that's what it will take,
to have each and every one of those symbols tattooed on my rear end, and submit said body
part to a photographer of your choosing. I know how you Jews (I hope I'm not revealing any
family secrets here) are particularly enamored of that area and all its emanations. If you
wish, I will come to Birmingham for an interview -- guns, scalps and all. I'd even be
willing to talk to an intern, I mean, even one with AIDS from some fourth-world cesspool
where they think the Earth is balanced on a turtle. Mo, I'm begging you.
So call me, we'll do lunch. And think about this, will you? I feel I have a real future
in the hate-related industry.
To show my true appreciation for your mag, and my sincere intentions, I have composed the
following song that I hope will make you see things my way. It worked for Dr.
Hook.
Yours truly,
Vic "Adolph, Spic-Killer, Psycho-Nazi, Jew-Gasser" Gerhard
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
(To the tune of 'Cover of the Rolling Stone')
Well, we're big Klan members, we've got burning embers
And we're hated everywhere we go,
We scream about niggers and we scream about kikes
These white robes ain't just for show
We learned all kind of skills to make all kind of kills
But the thrill we've always sought
Is the thrill that'll get you when you get your picture
On the cover of Intelligence Report
(Refrain)
S-P-L-C
Wanna see my picture on the cover
S-P-L-C
Gonna buy five copies for my klother
S-P-L-C
Wanna see my pointy hood
On the cover of Intelligence Report
Heil, we're Neo-Nazis, we got kicked out of ROTC
Then we marched thru Buchenwald
We said the gas ovens were just proof a' German lovin'
And it made Elie Weasel go bald
We got all the guns that money can buy
So the Fourth Reich they can't abort
And gold fillings make us richer but we can't get our picture
On the cover of Intelligence Report
S-P-L-C
Wanna see my picture on the cover
S-P-L-C
Gonna buy five copies for der Führer
S-P-L-C
Wanna see my SS uniform
On the cover of Intelligence Report
We traced the Chosen Nation right back to Creation
And it's two seeds all the way
They say we're anti-Semitic but that's just pathetic
Cause we're Christian Identi-tay
We said the Jews -- were Satan's kids
But now He wants a paternity test
Maybe Potok will get sicker and we'll get our picture
On the cover of Intelligence Report
S-P-L-C
Wanna see our picture on the cover
S-P-L-C
Gonna buy five copies for face-blooders
S-P-L-C
Wanna see E-City in lights
On the cover of Intelligence Report
VICTOR GERHARD
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