Free Speech Officially Declared Dead in Canada as Groundbreaking Historian Deported

by W. Hamburg

2 March 2005


Free Speech Officially Declared Dead in Canada as Groundbreaking Historian Deported


Plague Boils, Canada (Almighty Zion Newsservice) -- Reprehensible jewish groups were celebrating across the country as pacifist historian Ernst Zundel was deported to the Fatherland for ThoughtCrime this morning.

Bernie Farber, head of the tyrannical CJC, heartily expectorating on a crucifix between sentences, said, "We jews are absolutely ecstatic. Now you non-kike bastards know who's in charge."

Abe Foxman of the ADL, speaking to the AZN over the heavily Mossad-monitored public phonelines, claimed that rabbis the world over were sucking baby penises with chutzpah-like vigor, bleeding mouthsores notwithstanding.

"We have a lot of suprises in store for the Goyim yet," Foxman said, as an infant could be heard shrieking in the background.

Zundel, 64, earned the acclaim of many historians along with the ire of self-worshipping government jew-mafia over the last few decades for selflessly discovering that much of the so called jewish "Holocaust"? was in fact as phony a myth as Masada.

Farber said that Zundel's exposing the lie of the "gas chamber" in Crematoria I, presented to gullible tourists as in its "original state" when in actuality it was a Soviet post-war fake, was "absolutely unforgivable."

"First the lampshade and soap stories were exposed as sweaty Yiddish fantasies. Then the death toll was reduced by 3 million at Auschwitz. Then the 'gas chambers' were proved to be fakes. Jews know the whole story stinks to high hebrew hell, worse than Deborah Lipstadt's gefilte fish-reeking vagina," he said.

"Where would it end?" he asked, as his money-counting machine audibly jammed under the strain of counting its billionth one-hundred dollar bill of the day.

Reaction of WWII veterans was mixed. Insisting on anonymity, speaking in hushed tones and looking furtively around him as if for phantoms, a veteran's affairs spokesman said he thought one of the democratic principles he fought for was free speech.

"Guess we were all wrong," he said. He then retracted his statement, upon reflection, and fled.

Jewish officials in Germany were visibly celebratory. Thousands of jews lined Berlin streets and unbelievably befouled a gigantic German flag by defecating repeatedly on it to chants of "Never again! Ugghh!"

Masked jews handed out toilet paper imprinted with the flags of every country in the world with the exception of Israel. Experts claimed there were more jews in the streets per square inch than a Dachau mass grave.

"Serves 'em right, bastids," said 104-year-old Sarah Swindleman, a famous Holocaust? survivor who spent 9 years at 40 death camps and was repeatedly experimented on, tortured and gassed 17 times while fighting in the resistance that liberated the moon from Nazi aggression.

"I lost 507 members of my immediate family," she said. "So I stormed Hitler's bunker, alone, armed with only a fiddle and dreidel and personally whined the Fuhrer to death. It was the least I could do," she said proudly, noting that Earth's history books will all have to be re-written to accommodate this previously unknown revelation, now confirmed as fact by The Holier Than Thou Major Heads of Super-Duper Important Jewish Conferences and Organizations No Erasees Local #1101 (formerly known as Fred "Pimp" Silverman).

Rumours that flew at the mass defecation like flies in a shitstorm that the German Chancellor would wallow nude in the filth himself while exclaiming "I'm so sorry" six million times could not be confirmed.

US President Bush could not personally take part in the mass defecation because he is very busy "fighting jewry's enemies in the Middle East, making the world safe for Israel, and sending US interests down the tubes," adding "I crap with jews in spirit."


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