Understanding the Evil of the Nazis

by Dresden

6 February 2005

Upon discovering the horror of revisionism, a disgusting slap in the face of the History channel's owners, I feel I must write and set the record straight. The Holocaust did happen, and I will explain why, and how, refuting the refuters who refute refutation of their own refutations. One must understand that the reason the bodies have never been found at the concentration camps, was precisely because of the meticulous work and record keeping the Germans did, with many of the German camp workers entering the tattoo number of the Jew on their palm device with one hand while tossing said Jew into the furnace with the other. Of course these records were as clandestine as the operation itself, yet we expect the records of the location of the camp records to surface soon.[1]

The reason for this unfathomable evil of the Nazis was due to many things: the high-fat diet of sausages; the infusion of real demon blood into their own, creating super soldiers impervious to everything but the nuclear bullets found on level 5; and of course their sick slogan "ARBEIT MACHT FREI" (strength through joy).

What was this joy exactly? Was it, as the revisionists and neo-Nazis would have us believe, a system of government in which the people are free to commune and trade with those like themselves, and are free of the financial, physical and sexual predations of alien peoples who only wish to enslave them, or a more sinister joy, such as from strangling baby ducklings? Perhaps "AFLACHT QUACHT NICHT MEHR" would be more a more fitting title to this disgusting joy of theirs.[2]

As is evident from historical documentaries such as Hellboy, Bulletproof Monk, and Return to Castle Wolfenstein, the Nazis were in control of advanced robotic machinery, teleportation, plasma weapons, and the ability to raise the undead and near dead to do their bidding. They also employed such sinister individuals as Rasputin, George Frideric Handel, and The Red Skull as well as an army of extremely gifted tailors. Thank goodness for American know-how, ingenuity, and the famous 'go get 'em' attitude that Capt. 'Machinegun' Murray and his ragtag band of grunts used to beat this damnable Nazi army.[3] This was done primarily by sleeping with French women and smoking large quantities of delicious-tasting Lucky Strikes. Lucky Strike: There's never a rough puff in a lucky.

The German soldiers worked like madmen designing their intricate and sadistic camps of death, with many of these camps actually completed by the Russians soldiers after the war. This was done through the use of mind-control devices. Ground work was set to allow geysers of blood (Jew blood) to shoot from the ground dramatically, electric floors (which would submerge themselves into water, electrocuting hundreds of Jews at a time), and of course the perfection of psychological warfare devices such as the 'child-proof' aspirin bottle cap.

In fact Hitler alone tore 3.2 Billion Jews apart with his own mechanical fusion-powered arms (This was, of course, done clandestinely on alternate Sundays between the hours of 3:20 and 3:45 a.m.), and threw their bodies to a waiting pack of carnivorous horses. These horses were fitted with metallic caps on their teeth so that they could break down and digest bones. This explains why a large number of bones, or mass graves were never found. The horses themselves were disposed of by use of the 3rd Reich's disintegration beam, which was later found to be ineffective against Captain America's shield.[4]

Not only were soap and lampshades produced from the bodies of the Jews, but there was also a long list of other products made from these two-legged resource goldmines called Jews, much like the Indians with their bison. All of these products were happily produced by their rosy-cheeked fellow Jews at the camps, and bore the same standards of high craftsmanship as do all German products, along with an imprint like those found on the soap made from Jewish fat (RJF).[5] These included, but were not limited to: Pure Jewfeet Tires (RJT), Pure Jewskin Rainslickers (RJR), Pure Jewpersonality Human Repellant (RJH), and Pure Jewgut Sackoguts (RJS).

Anyone who can think for himself can of course see the depth of wickedness in the evil Nazis who were responsible for the 18.7 trillion deaths of Europe's 3.5 million Jews in 1943 to 1945, who luckily, were able to survive quite a number of those deaths and live to tell about it. We must never forget, because somewhere in the world there is a 105-year-old billionaire Nazi who knows where the bag of Samson's hair clippings is, and plans to use it to rule the world.[6]


1. Bernie is working on this now.
2. Hitler actually planned on using a large floating Trojan duckie to invade Britain.
3. They were also assisted by Bob Hope, John Wayne, and Donald Duck in the actual battles.
4. See Issue #13!
5. Although later proven not to be soap made from Jews, it may have been soap made by Jews, but asking them to do manual labor is almost as bad as killing them, so there.
6. Coming August 15th from Warner Brothers.

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