Easter: The Backstory

by Jennifer Stewart

8 April 2004

HEAVEN, 4 BC: Our Lord God was troubled. Gazing down through the pearly gates, He beheld an increasingly violent and sinful world.

"Mankind is nearly beyond hope," He mused. "But because I am their God, I shall intervene. I will send my only Son to be born as a human being. He shall walk among men, suffer betrayal and a hideous death, and thereby humanity shall be redeemed. But who could carry out such a dastardly crime?

"If I send Him to Asia, He will be acclaimed as a great philosopher because of His wisdom.

"If I send Him to Ireland, He will be revered as a poet because of His eloquence.

"The Norsemen would hail Him as their King because of His courage.

"In Africa, the least of His miracles would make the simple natives worship Him as a god. What shall I do?"

The Lord God sat and scratched His snowy head. He thought and thought. Suddenly, His wise face brightened. He jumped up from the Eternal Throne, raised his hands in the air, and shouted:

"JESUS CHRIST!! I've finally found a use for the Jews!"


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