Mr. Male Whitey

by Mark J. Maloney

30 March 2004

I know that it's unfashionable to defend straight, white men; and I know that most grievances against white men go undefended because white men are a bunch of pussies. But being a pussy isn't a bad thing. In fact, it's what we white men call "educated." Non-aggression, in the form that it's spontaneous, is a pure form of civilization. Yet what do we see daily in our everyday experiences? Random acts of aggression, mostly passive, by someone who thinks this outburst is somehow justified by past transgressions.

I got news for you, white woman: If it weren't for white men, you would probably be dying in childbirth at the age of twelve. No black baby is going to squeeze out of that hole. Those of you that did survive would only be fit to live a life of service at the hands of your master until the day your immune system succumbs to gonorrhea. Does that sound like a world you'd rather live in? The day a man has the "right to choose" will be a day when gender equality has truly been achieved.

Surprisingly, no credible scientist has ever tested the effects of a male-dominated society on the progress of future generations. At a glance, though, you can clearly see lights in the streets, banks not being robbed, and a court system that works rather well by comparison. I heard a woman once bitch that women, in general, only make 70% of what a man does for the same position. Well, Goddamn right! You're lucky you get that! Stop bitching about the things you don't have and start...well, I know logic is useless on you so I'll just move on.

I got news for you too, black people: Slavery was a good thing. Even if you assholes were the object of the slavery part, if it weren't for this brilliant maneuver on the part of your great white captors, you wouldn't have the opportunity to sell stolen goods, or drive shitty cars, or sing violent "music" like the primitives that you are. Some of life's greatest amenities are yours thanks largely to the white slave owners of better days.

Besides, you're all so lazy! That small emphasis you place on education will come back to bite you all in your fat asses. The "bling-bling" of your existence when the bottom drops out is going to be the fattest rat in some slummy back alley. Giving you money or responsibility is one of white man's greatest mistakes. It's really astonishing how useless you are as a people.

I got news for you, Mr. Arab: If you think that my system of government needs some revamping, go ahead and try. The blacks and the women wouldn't put up with it for a minute. They're too free -- 'ruined' you might say. Of course I understand the whole mass consumption thing bothers you, too, but get over it you savage merchant, if not us then you. (Although I will admit you have a great work ethic. That's to your credit; alas, there are no Swedish suicide bombers, no Chinese suicide bombers, no Australian suicide bombers, no .... )

And I've got news for you, Mr. Jew controlling the media: First, white men aren't as stupid as they are portrayed to be on TV. That stereotype is just as offensive as seeing a white guy dressed in "black-face." Second, I'm not that interested in enlarging, bettering, or changing anything about my sex life. I don't want to be remembered as the human who preferred sex and beer over quality and efficiency.

AND HOW ABOUT A MOVIE ABOUT ALL THE GOOD THINGS HITLER DID?!? Why the hell not? Everybody else gets to be a TV star: degenerate, wasteful black atheletes, serial-killing psycho women, Queers, Arabs, Vikings...the list goes on.

I saved you for last, Mr. Homosexual: First, let me say that you are a boom to the real-estate industry. Second, let me hunt you down and stomp your faggity ass into the pavement for telling me about sticking your penis in, not just an ass, but a guy's ass. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? Stop raving about your degenerate lifestyle at every media outlet. You people are ruining TV. Why don't you do it like the blacks? A Faggit TV network, perhaps? That way, at least I can skip over it like I do BET and Lifetime.

So that's that, in a nutshell. I'm not really concerned one way or the other for race or gender relations. It's all nonsense anyway. Everyone knows that an alien human race is going to wipe us out upon the second coming.

God Bless


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