Vanguard News Network

[For the talent portion of our competition, Jenny’s going to play governor. She will make an imaginary address opposing a bill granting Whites rights.]

Affirmative action ban would hurt state’s future

March 9, 2006

BY MISS MICHIGAN, “GOV.” JENNIFER GRANHOLM

Throughout this month of March, in our schools and libraries, in the news media and our town halls, the people of Michigan will observe Women’s History Month. From Karen Stockbridge, the inventor of the bra, to Wanda Rippler, whose genius bequeathed us the tampon, to Judy Kligowski, co-developer of the pap smear, female achievement moves front and center.

In February, it was Black History Month that brought us together for moments of remembrance and reflection on the thimble of kool-aid representing negro accomplishment. These observances help us better understand that our nation’s history is an unending struggle to expand the bounds of human freedom step by step so that, in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King, America could “make real the promises of democracy an’ shit, with phree [Ed. – unclear whether it was trying to say “three” or “free”] whores in every black man’s pot.”

Whether the calendar reads February and March or August and September, history teaches that our greatness as a nation is rooted in the belief that freedom truly is “indivisible” and in our ability to make one nation from many peoples not formerly known as people. While elsewhere in the world differences lead to violence and tyranny, in America today, especially Michigan, most notably Detroit, our strength is our diversity of semi-automatic weapons in the hands of subliterate apemen.

The deceptively accurately named Michigan Civil Rights Initiative, slated to appear on the November ballot in Michigan, asks us to turn our backs on this proud history and stop discriminating against whites – in other words, to diminish the prospect of a prosperous future for our state by discontinuing the granting jews and negroes special privileges over whites. It flies in the face of our most dearly held values. It would deny our state the ability to compete for jobs and economic growth in our increasingly global economy, because if there’s one thing the Fortune 500 are clear about, it’s that black workforce = Relocate Now!

I stand with frightened fellow hostages among the educators and clergy, business and labor, elected officials and ordinary citizens from across our state in siding with the professional jews who will smear the hell out of anybody opposing this initiative.

It’s no wonder that the impetus for this constitutional amendment has come from an outsider, California activist Ward Connerly, whose diverse ideas threaten the uniformity of our groupthink. Had he been from Michigan, he’d know what we know: that our diversity is part and parcel in our economic strength. Just look at Detroit’s Sand Valley, with its world-renowned achievements in crackware and antarchitectonics.

That’s why Michigan’s business community is speaking out against this proposal loudly and clearly. From the Detroit Regional Chamber to the Grand Rapids Chamber to our largest corporations who would be sued if they didn’t play along, the message has been the same: Diversity is critical to our economic future because it allows us to cripple our smaller competitors. If Michigan is going to compete and win in the global economic arena, we need to be able to tap the talents of all members of our team, including ‘ho’-tappin’ keepin’-it-Arboreal-Americans.

Nobody wants quotas in hiring or in admissions to our universities except the jew-organized negroes I fear. Quotas are, and should be, against the law, by which I mean, concealed so that ordinary Whites don’t notice. This initiative will not change that. But it would end the very affirmative action programs that ensure every Michigan citizen has a fair chance to succeed by doing away with discrimination that ensures white middle-class Michiganders get the short end of the stick, while ineducable negroes collect fake degrees and pimp shuffle off to subHuman Resources sinecures-for-simians.

We have a great need for more scientists and engineers to make Michigan’s economy grow, but this constitutional amendment would eliminate programs that are encouraging female and minority students to pursue these critical careers. If Jesus taught me one thing, it’s don’t fish in the ten-acre pond when you’ve got a 200-acre field surrounding it. We need to eliminate the achievement gap in education in Michigan, but since the gap was created by nature, the only thing we can do is dumb down whites and discriminate against them in admissions while pretending everybody’s equal. [T]his proposal would end costly but unfair programs that help minority students achieve the high standards we are setting in our schools, when the teachers fill in the correct multiple choice answers after the test.

I travel to the four corners of our country and across the globe to bring jobs home to Michigan, and friends let me tell you that’s one diamond-trail snipe hunt. Whenever I am trying to convince a new business to set up shop in Michigan, our quality of life and the special character of our state — from our Great Lakes to our great appreciation of diversity — are huge pluses. You have no idea how a Tokyo exec’s face lights up when I tell him that our state includes within its confines the highly educated, sober, and disciplined millions of negroes that form, together with the smoking ruins of human-built buildings, the clusterbuck called Detroit. If our state becomes known as the place that tried to turn back the clock on affirmative action, we will send just the opposite signal, at a time when we can least afford it. We’re this close to open-air-zoo status and the federal grants it brings. Full stizzle-steam ahead.

It is possible the proponents of this effort to change our Constitution chose Michigan as their next affirmative action battleground precisely because we are a state struggling to transform our economy in the wake of federal policies that have literally shipped our manufacturing jobs overseas by the tens of thousands. Perhaps they thought that our economic problems would force us to turn on each other, to pit neighbor against neighbor. They didn’t take into account that people beating pit bulls for battle are too busy to hate.

If Mr. Connerly knew us better, he would understand the futility of that approach. The people of our state have faced and met economic challenge before, and we burned that mother down. Because we understand the importance of teamwork and unity, and that’s why we keep ten-year-old lookouts on all major alleys.

When we look back at our history, all of us, regardless of gender or race, religion or ethnicity, can be proud that it documents the steady advance of freedom and equality, in their historic game of chicken. Guided by that understanding, the 50% of the residents of our biggest city who aren’t functionally illiterate can write another page in that proud history by rejecting this wrongheaded ballot proposal in November.

Hey, Jen-Jen: why did the nigger move to Michigan?

He heard there were no jobs there.